I get multiple times rape when I was 5 years old until I reach 7
I get multiple times rape when I was 5 years old until I reach 7
am male 49 years old now
when I was 5 years old until I reach 7
I get multi multiple time rape by our neighbor
How was around 19 or 20 years old or older
at age of 5 I didn’t know how to act or what to do to stop this person form doing this to me
every time he rapes, me I get scarier and panic and don’t know what to do
I don’t don’t how many times he raped me
Maybe 30 or 40 or more in two yards
when I was around 6 years old this person and his brother put a dirty wooden stick form near construction place in my ass and kept moving it in very panful way that I was admitted in the hospital the next day
when I was in the hospital, I was too much afraid and didn’t know what to do because I was only 6 years old who get raped by his neighbor for almost 2 years
my family felt somethings and try to talk to me but I at 6 years old I was too much afraid and couldn’t talk or explain to them what happened
because I don’t know words like rape or sexual abuse at age 5-6 and don’t know why this person doing this to me
after I was admitted in the hospital my family decide to shift to new area
when I reach around 43 years old all of this pain suffering and sadness came back
for the past seven years of my life the when I wake up or I try to sleep these things coming back to my mind of which bring all the pain and sadness I suffer in my childhood
in the middle of the day or when am sitting with friends also these bad memories come back to me
this person destroyed my childhood and killed all the happiness in my life
That is horrible. My heart aches for you. I hope that little 5-year-old boy heals and finds support and hope.
@falah
Welcome,
I'm so sorry to hear about your traumatic past. I know that must have been so difficult to endure and hard to understand when that was going on at such a young age. I understand how this past trauma would still be affecting you today. Unfortunately, this isn't something you can get over easily if at all in life. All I know is that your neighbor is in the wrong and he should have known better then to do that to you. it's understandable that you were scared and panicked about it happening over and over again. You didn't deserve it at all and that it's not your fault. You also shouldn't be ashamed for what happened then especially since you didn't know what was going on. I'm sorry to hear that this happened for years. I get that you wanted to tell people what happened but were too scared to say something at such a young age. I'm glad after the hospital visit that you moved to a new area where he couldn't abuse again. Sometimes when we suppress our trauma or try to forget what happened. It will come up later in life but with worse symptoms. Most of the time trauma does affect our sleep and impact our brain a lot. I hope you are able to someday share your story with someone trusted if you haven't. I would suggest going to therapy or suggest talking about maybe starting some medication to help with sleep and to help manage ptsd if not already doing so. Also, maybe I would suggest trying to find some distractions and coping skills. Grounding and meditating can work when you feel anxious and things like. Along when you have the anxiety, I suggest doing some breathing exercise. If you haven't tried journaling that could be a good let out and a possibility for a new coping skill. I really hope you feel better and that you find this community trustworthy, safe and supportive. We are here for you always,
Warm Regards,
Kindcherry2
