I just want to forget
I was sexually assaulted in 3rd grade by my best friend. I jsut want to forget about it. I never came forward cause she blackmailed me about it and I was only 8, but I cry about it ever night. It happened 8 years ago and I haven’t had any therapy to talk about it. I think about what she did to me all the time, I don’t know her anymore though. The last time I saw her was in 5th grade. And I assume she probably also went through sa as a kid. But it hurts so much. I was so humiliated when it happened. How could I of told anybody what she did to me when I felt so embarrassed? And now I’m stuck with these feelings. I just want it all to go away.idk when I’ll lget therapy, but I need to know how to deal with this?
I’m so very sorry to hear that terrible things happened to you when you were a child. I can very much relate, although I didn’t get therapy until years later around the age of 15. I had repressed memories that began to resurface, including abuse from another child. I saw him years later at a tree farm and the flashbacks were so disorienting that writing was the only way to me to process it. Maybe writing will help you too while you continue to wait for therapy. Please do make it a priority though, please do not wait until you reach a state of crisis like I did before asking for help. You have nothing to be embarrassed about, and none of what happened is your fault.
Thank you for sharing your story.
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I know it's very tough to overcome any such feelings..but you know that it is important in life to move on. Bad feeling can only be replaced by good feeling. There is a law of Karma that the willpower for a particular kind of activity increases by doing in that activity. So anytime when you get this hard feeling just observe the trigger points. Once you identify the to get points when you get into that feeling also identify how you come out of that. Then develop some atomic habits and remind me yourself of doing that so that it develops into a routine. You are approaching the trigger points just focus on that activity. With repeated trying you will develop the resilience to toler.ate that pain thank you
Artistic projects can help too. Drawing, painting, creating and crafts help alot. Painting is my go to when flashbacks and memories are triggering me.
Therapy is a great help to me. Maybe your school offers some counseling.
7cups is a good place to express feelings.
@Bonkysocks remember your a strong young survivor and you deserve a beautiful life. Take action and go forward . Be gentle with yourself.
Best always ABB 💜