I'm Broken....

I thought after enduring 18 years of abuse at home that when I finally broke free that was it. I was done. I was going to live my life on my own terms and not let anyone take advantage of me ever again. I was wrong. It happened just two short years later. One night with a trusted group of friends drinking turned into a nightmare that haunts me every night. I go back and think how much I trust him and how we had spent so much time together. It wasn't someone I had just met or barely knew. He took a piece of my soul that night that I will never get back. I feel that I can't trust anyone anymore. I'm afraid constantly to make close friends with anyone for fear of what might happen and I don't dare drink at all around them. The anxiety that is constant in my life has taken over so much that I feel as if I'm an empty shell walking around. I go through the daily motions just to make sure I look normal. While secretly dying inside from the pain. With no justice insight. I feel like the system has failed twice. A system set in place that is supposed to help the victims and get due justice has become just as broken the people that run it. They can't see past the face in the courtroom. The piece of paper in front of them. They can't see into my hurt and pain that I go through each day and justify their decision based on a piece of paper. I'm broken and I never thought I would ever thought I would end up like this.