I’m a little lost

Pardon me, I accidentally started to write this in a different section but it posted before I could really finish it and I don’t know how to delete it lol

I’m kind of inconsolable right now. My therapist finally told me he doesn’t think it happened, my moms told like 6 different people, none of whom believe me, and I’m just kind of lost. The more people she tells for her own well-being, the higher the likelihood that information reaches him, and I really need that information to stay away from him.

My moms made me start seeing her therapist, because he thinks it’s just some Freudian amalgamation of my psyche, something like ‘your subconscious is all just an interpretation of yourself’, but that can’t be it, right? He’s a nice enough guy but I’m just so scared, and no meditation exercise is going to remedy that entirely.

Maybe there isn’t someone out there who wants to kill me, but I still feel like there is. Maybe that’s not a cause for concern, but I still have those memories, and false or not they’re keeping me from doing anything.

I just wish anyone would take me seriously. Everyone on this app and on others has been fantastic, and I really do appreciate that, but I just can’t do it by myself anymore. I’m doubting more and more that I made it up. It’s just a long line of coincidences that would’ve had to happen for me to make it up. Maybe it’s confirmation bias or something, but I’m just so lost.

I feel weird going along with everyone else’s interpretation of my experiences, because if there is someone who wants to murder me, I feel like I should be aware of that. Everyone’s response is just ‘you’re making it up, stop stressing yourself out’, but what if I’m not?