I need help deciding whether or not if this is grooming
Okay so someone is 13 and someone 16 does sexual roleplay with them including rape roleplay and when the 14 year old says they don't want to do it anymore the 16 year old leaves them and when the 13 year old says the 16 year old groomed them the 16 year old says "but you asked for it"
@msjademarvel
That's definitely a tough situation. I looked up what defines grooming because I'm not sure on how it's defined and I found this article about knowing the warning signs it's from the RAINN website. From what you said in the brief post I feel like it could especially since it sounds like there are manipulation tactics to make it "seem natural". By blaming the 13 year old for "asking for it" is one way of gaslighting, which is a manipulation tactic that really messses with a persons since of reality and their memory and can make them believe they're the problem reducing the risk that they'll tell someone, there for preventing getting caught. Also the "you asked for it" comment makes it seem like a "natural consequence" from their behavior that made the person say "you asked for it". I've always heard grooming being from adults, but technically the 16 year old is a lot more sexually mature than the 13 year old, so I don't know if that would count. Either way it is inappropriate to "force" someone into conversation or any activity that they say they are uncomfortable with it.
I hope this helps!
Idk I'd I count this as grooming but it IS coercion. There's a power dynamic involved so it's also imo abusive
I think that cnc between adults is their business and but this 16 yr old seems like bad news I'm sorry.
@msjademarvel
It's not grooming, but it's a little sad. Boundaries always need to be respected in that sort of thing, and this is definitely manipulative in the way of gaslighting. I just hope he learns to be better than that, because not only did the girl in this story deserve better, anyone he's with later deserves better too.
