Is this my fault? Do I deserve to feel groomed?
The Story of My 1st "love"... at least part of it.
It was Freshman year, and I had turned 15 in January. In April, I started dating this guy. He turned 18 2 months after we started dating. In October I found out he was cheating on me. He admitted that it was going on with multiple people since June. He told me that he was addicted to s3x, and I believed him. I stayed with him to "help him through" (that's what I genuinely believed at the time). I blamed myself when he'd "relapse", he blamed me too. At the start of the following summer we were together, he pressured me into an open relationship after I found out he was cheating again. I agreed. He took this as an opportunity to be a predator... he went after multiple girls when he started "volunteering" at the junior high guitar club. The youngest was 13 (I didn't know about that until after we broke up for good when I was 19 and he was about to turn 22). Reminder, he was 19 at this time. He successfully exchanged sexts and *** with a freshly turned 15 year old (after we broke up for good he tried with ANOTHER 15 year old). In August he broke up with me after I told him I wasn't comfortable with the open status. By September, he asked to be back together and said he was okay with monogamy. The ONLY reason he even asked to get back together with me was because other guys were messaging me (I never even acted on anything). We started dating again.
This is all to bring me to my personal questions, and questionable form of trauma. I feel like maybe I was groomed too. I found out about the 15 year old when we had gotten back together and was met with, "That's how old you were when we started dating. It's not that bad." Reminder that I was 16 when we were having this conversation. I kind of feel like that was where the grooming could be seen. I got back into that relationship with an adult (that continued to cheat using the "addiction" reason), I was manipulated, and he took advantage of my naivety (because I really didn't know better than his logic. When I was 19 though I realized I could never look at a 15 year old that way) to get me back with him. Does any of this sound like grooming? I didn't understand it was wrong... is that my fault? Or was I groomed to believe that?
@pandaprincess9
i think yes he is grooming girls........... as he is interested in very young and that is illegal in many places......IMO those who target young know that group does not have to experience to spot them and are trusting.....
i think people when very young even if aware this does happen............... tend to think they will spot it or think "Not me " ..not all groom and stalk to ask girls to become sex workers but the open relationship and multiple cheating could have put you at serious health risks of STD or desensitized you that doing things with many has no meaning .........
some predators ......... just like the conquest of many YOUNG GIRLS (that is what they are) to boost their ego as i doubt they can have relationship with someone their own age as they themselves rend to be immature and could not keep up emotionally or intellectually
I believe from your story............ you really believed his issues and you could help him.........but there is items he should seek help before he is in real trouble, will most likely end up in jail stalking so young surprised no one end up pregnant or such.
