I thought I was crazy when I started remembering.. [trigger alert]
So, I don't know if I am supposed to do this here, but I would like to tell the community part of my story. I just started counseling about two months ago, and as i started talking about abuse I already knew about, I started remembering things about my father hurting me. I would have memories of being really little and being carried up the stairs of my house kicking and crying. I was maybe 4. My mom was gone working. my father would take me up to his room and take off my clothes and put me on his bed, and take oil and rub it all over me, then he would make me touch him...I hated it, but it happend alot. Then about two weeks ago I started remembering that He also would take me up there and make me have oral sex with him and stick his fingers inside of me. when I would cry because it hurt, he would choke me and tell me I had nothing to cry about. I never knew until two weeks ago why I didn't cry. So, I understand the stories on here more then you know, and I am so sorry to hear that others have been through these awful, terrifying things. I need help to be brave, to cry, and to remember without bieng afraid. As I am helped, I will help others too, that is what we are here for.
@daisylee
First of all, thank you so much for sharing with us a little bit of yourself and your story. I cannot imagine how difficult it must be to bring forth those details, I really do admire your strength and courage in facing this.
Thanks you so much for sharing with us. Crying is a great way to heal to let out how your feeling. If you need help.in doing this get in contact with me I'm a listener here and would live to help you if I can.
@daisylee
Thank-you so much for having the strength to share that!
If it is ok with you I would love to give you a very safe hug? ... I'll just leave it over here if you want it *hugs* =)
I admire your strength for reaching out and seeing a counsellor! That in itself is a massive achievement, and I am so very proud of you!
I know how hard it can be to try and process past abuse.
It is especially hard when you think you know what you're dealing with and then you suddenly remember some new details that you had repressed.
Just know that each one of these memories are just as valid as the next, don't be afraid to take it slow, to allow yourself space to cry or scream or do whatever you need to do to remind yourself that what happened to you was scary, and wrong, and absolutely never your fault!
You have such a beautiful community here supporting you, cheering you on, and holding you up when things seem too hard. You are never, ever, ever alone in this!
I respect you so much for sharing this part of your story. I am so sorry this had to happen to you. But I can see your strength shining through so beautifully and so brightly!
You are among great company here! And we'll get through this, ok?