It's Been Two Years ***Trigger Warning***
Tomorrow will be the 2 year anniversary of when I was raped. In all honesty, it hasn't gotten any easier. I spent the first year partially in denial. Drinking heavily, cutting myself, partying hard, and having lots of unprotected sex. I did anything I could to block it out. The only people that knew were my boyfriend, sister and very close friends. Everybody in my circle of friends knew the girl who raped me. But for my sake, and their own morality, they dropped her when they learned about what happened. But that all changed. Last Spring (2014), my boyfriend was hanging out at the local coffee shop. He saw Tessa there. Tessa had been my best friend for over 3 years. But Tessa was hanging out with the girl who had raped me. Keep in mind, Tessa was the first person I told about the rape... I texted Tessa with these exact words, "Umm really?" And she went insane and started flipping out on me. She said she felt like it wasn't right for me to judge the girl for a "mistake." She actually classified rape as only a mistake. When I asked her why she was hanging out with her, she denied it and said that she only said hello. So I asked her, "Why would you even say hello to somebody that did that to me?" Her response to that was, "Because I'm not a bitch like you." So that was the end of mine and Tessa'sfriendship. It should have been the end of that whole ssituation. But Tessa started telling EVERYBODY about my rape. She was lying about it, saying that I was making it up. That I "wanted to be raped." That I was trying to just get attention. The list goes on...in a small town, news travels fast. Rumors started that i was on drugs (I'm still trying to shake that one). People were saying I was mentally ill. Tessa had even spread the lies to my old manager! I had to fu***** tell my manager that I was raped!!!! Her lies and rumors forced me to have to talk about an event I wasn't ready to talk about. It should have been a private situation, and because of Tessa, half of my work knew. So here I am, two years later. Still dealing with the stuff that Tessa started, all while trying to heal from being raped. And maybe it would help if I knew the girl who raped me was rotting away in jail. But shes not. Shes still walking the streets. I still see her all the time. And sometimes its all more than I can bear...
edited by dancingRainbow45 This post is being moved to Traumatic Experiences and a name has been omitted to comply with community guidelines and a trigger warning added. Thanks 07/05/2017
I'm sorry. I know what you're going threw. Every year instead of celebrating my birthday I have to remember that's the day my father stole my childhood from me
Hey that girl doesn't even deserve to have a friend like you okay.. And you being raped is hard, I know it is hard. I have never been raped myself but I know if someone told me they were raped or someone told me someone was raped I would only want to protect that person, not judge them. I know you wouldn't want people to know that but know that when people find out, they would be more angry and hateful towards raven! She's the one who would be frowned upon. Not you(: stand up for yourself. Let people know since they already know something about it, tell them the real story. You have every right to be upset, but don't let Tessa win!! She betrayed you and knows she did. If you stay upset at what she did she may only be more satisfied. Let everyone know you didn't make it up and what happened was cruel and shouldn't ever happen to anyone. Keep your head up(:
All of my friends still hang out with my rapist. When I told one of my friends in particular she laughed and said "but he's so small!" Nobody has taken me seriously. Nobody except my boyfriend who watches me sob and hyperventilate every time my rapist texts me.
I'm so sorry. I really am. If you want someone to talk to I'm here
oh mygosh. i a so genuinely sorry, i really am. i feel so bad jus heaing this, but i a not going to throw you a pity party, cause i bet thas the last thing you need. i just keep relising how many problems exist out there.... i care what happens next. when you move forward, all the cutters(like me), and other victims will be give hope. i dont even know if you will read this, or if it will help, but i will keep thinking about you everyday in hopes you get better.
Thank you so much everybody!!!! All the support helps so much!!!
Last Summer I confronted Tessa's boyfriend and threatened to sue for defamation of character. He just laughed at me and said he "bet I never even picked up a law book" and said "have fun lying your way into court."
It's hard seeing all these people, still carrying on normal lives....I don't want to feel sorry for myself, but it seems unfair. None of them feel any remorse and are living in complete denial. Even Tessa has changed her story time and time again.
stay strong... it's the poeple like you who fight that give me hope. i'm betting on you, im sure you'll survive
Things will get better! Forgot about Tessa, she was never your friend from the start if she's not on your side.! You should take Raven to court, I think you can prove you were raped with police help.
Sadly I've tried :/ I filled out a police report, but Raven was never charged. Its pretty much just a situation of my word against hers. There's no real evidence to back up my story.
