My Childhood Sexual Abuse Story...

Ok Im a 27 year old male. My brother was the perp in it all. It started when I was 8, and he was about 12. While watching TV and playing super Nintendo in his room he started rubbing me through my pants, then put his hands in my pants and got me to do the same to him. Over a period of about 6 months it progressed into far worse things, and this continued for 10 years until I was 18.

Touching each other led to him <edited by mentor for inappropriate content>, and him making me <edited by mentor for inappropriate content>. We showered together, which up until this all started was normal. My parents trusted him to shower and bath me. In the shower we would play with each other, pee on each other and he would <edited by mentor for inappropriate content>. Initially I fought against him and tried stopping it but then I got tired of resisting and just went with it and let him have his way.

He started playing a game with me called ‘who dares wins which I dont know why it was called that. He always ‘won but just the damage was less sometimes. Some times it was actual dares he would get me to do, and if I did them ‘I won and if I didnt then ‘he won. He made me agree on what the winner/ loser would do before each time. It was different each time, but usually if he won I would need to let him<edited by mentor for inappropriate content>, but if I won he would <edited by mentor for inappropriate content>, or I would need to <edited by mentor for inappropriate content>.

Other times the ‘dares would be video game competition. Wed play a game and whoever ‘won got the better end of the deal. I wasnt much good at video games so I usually lost.

I could go into detail about many individual encounters but I would be here forever.

From when I was about 11 until 15 he would take any chance he had to do things with me. By this time I was used to it all and even began to like it, so I just went with it. Sometimes I even helped him make a time that we could be alone. Playing cricket or footy in the backyard we had a game where if the ball went behind the shed we would both go to get it. I would pull my pants down and bend over for him. He didnt always <edited by mentor for inappropriate content>, sometimes we just played a little with each other, or I would <edited by mentor for inappropriate content>.

Every 6 months we went on family holidays. The holiday house we stayed in only had 2 bedrooms. So my parents had one and we shared the other. There were 2 single beds in our room. But I would always wake up with him in my bed. If I didnt wake up when he got into my bed he would start playing with me until I woke up. Then would progress to fuck me. One particular holiday when I was about 15-16 he talked about it being our ‘fun holiday and how we would do ‘something every day for the whole week we were away. Most days the ‘something was while my parents went for a walk we stayed at the house and had ‘fun.

One night we went fishing on the jetty near where we were staying. He was about 20 so my parents trusted him being out late with me. My brother waited until everyone else had left from the jetty. It was a warm summers night. He started packing up the fishing gear so I thought we would be going back to the house. Instead we ended up staying there until about 3:30 in the morning. I still remember the time being 3:48am when we got back to the house. Once he had the fishing gear packed up he made his intentions clear, he folded up one of the chairs we had, leaving just one seat. He pulled his pants right down and sat down and asked if I wanna sit down. I was hesitant but I said ok. He said I could only sit on his lap if I pulled my pants down first. I figured this would be the case so I did.<edited by mentor for inappropriate content>. Well he was slow and gentle until I said it wasnt going to ‘go in and he just started getting rough. He stood me up and bent me over the chair and <edited by mentor for inappropriate content> while saying ‘oh yes, it will be going in dont worry he stripped me naked and got naked himself and threatened to throw my clothes into the sea if I didnt do what he said. I just let him go.<edited by mentor for inappropriate content> It was normal for me to bleed a little after, but this time <edited by mentor for inappropriate content> He didnt ‘finish in me though. There was a tap near by so he washed<edited by mentor for inappropriate content>. I started<edited by mentor for inappropriate content> but he said it wasnt good enough. He told me to sit on the chair, so I did and he stood in front of me and made me <edited by mentor for inappropriate content> He said it was my turn after that. I said I didnt want to do anymore, but he said he was going to <edited by mentor for inappropriate content> and there were two choices. He said If I <edited by mentor for inappropriate content> it means I liked what he was doing and we would ‘start again but if I didnt <edited by mentor for inappropriate content> he would be satisfied that I didnt really want it and we could go back to the house. After he was <edited by mentor for inappropriate content> for a while I could feel myself getting closer to orgasm. I told him that was enough and we should go home but he started <edited by mentor for inappropriate content> Sure enough I eventually orgasmed He stood up and said I tasted good and that we werent going anywhere for a while. I said I was scared and wanted to leave but he said there was nothing to be scared of. We went through the whole thing again. Then when we got into his car he played with me more. He made me sit in the car with no pants on while driving back to the house. He told me to masturbate while he drives so I did. When we got back to the house he gave me my pants and then we went inside like nothing was different. From that point on there was only a few times I hesitated with him at all, most of the time no matter what he wanted I just went with it, because I knew if I didnt it would end up worse for me.

Throughout my whole childhood he had taught me that what we did was ‘normal which now gives me voices and thoughts that are very disgusting but I just cant stop them. Some are worse than others. I think I will go into that in another post. I just want to post this now before I change my mind and delete it all!