My friend is dating my abuser
At first it was just a casual thing between them and i already hated it then, but i didnt say anything, and now theyre actually in a relationship and she seems to genuinely like him and be happy with him.
And obviously i want her to be happy. Shes my friend, and i love her, and i know i should just shove aside all the negative feelings i have about him, and just be happy for her. Especially since we have mutual friends, and i may have to be around him anyway. But i have no idea how to do that.
I know i should have no say in who she dates, its her life and her choice, but at the same time its really hurting me, i hate that even knowing my history with him she still decided to date him, and she keeps talking about him in our group chat, and every time she mentions him i feel like i die a little bit inside. I want to be selfish and tell her to please not be with him, why does it have to be him, or at least please stop talking about him because i dont want to hear it, but i know thats not really fair to her.
Its just feels like such an impossible situation, i feel so conflicted about the whole thing because shes happy and i want to be happy for her, i really do, but i dont know how, and i dont know what to do in this situation.
@foIieadeux
Hi folie, thank you for sharing a bit of your story with us 
this is really a more than difficult situation to be in... I understand your wish to just be happy with your friend, but if you aren't feel comfortable with being around your abuser, what is perfectly understandable, you should set a boundary there, tell your friend and your others friends that you don't want to be around him and ask your friend not to mention him... If you feel like your friend is in danger, you should try to speak to her about it...
Feel free to pm me whenever you feel like we're here for you and you are not alone *hugs*
@ImperfectCherry i don
@foIieadeux
yeah, you are right, setting such boundaries with friends is a hard task, but you are asking for it for a reason and this reason should actually make your friends respect your boundaries, cause the abuse you had to endure and the pain you feel when you have to be around him, that should just weigh more than anything else... I'm here if you need me... stay strong
@foIieadeux Yikes. At first I was wondering if she knew, but if she does and is still dating him...eeek. It's super difficult because you said you have mutuals in common but quite frankly she doesn't seem like a very good friend. She may think she can "change" him or that you were/are lying, or that it's "different" with her, etc. but you have the right to feel the wa you do.
I've been in a similar situation and it's sad to watch when someone will throw a friendship away for a romantic thing that may or may not last and may have very negative consequences for everyone involved. I'm so sorry you're going through that.
@ReadBooksDrinkTea yeah she definitely knows, but i
@foIieadeux Personally I couldn't stay friends with these people if they know what happened yet don't see any problem with hanging out/maintaining a relationship with him and her.
But only you can decide what's best for you. Are these "friends" really worth it? You may have to consider that in the future whether you can rely on them for help or support if they continue to maintain ties to him.
Again, you obviously know them better than I do and I realize you may be facing the loss of a social circle. But I don't think these people are your friends.