My story...*trigger warning*

It has taken me a while to come to terms with what has happened to me...and recently the hazy memories have become more real and I'm starting to remember more. And it is a scary feeling to remember it all, and the flashbacks are so realistic. Throughout high school I was always oversexualized. Boys sexually assaulting me in class and in the halls, teachers flirting with me and hitting on me, boys saying very inappropriate unsolicited things to me, and many more unbelievable situations. Throughout my whole life as well I have been harrassed in public. By men and women. Being cat called, confronted about my physical appearance, followed, etc. Many very uncomfortable and scary situations. So all that alone has given me severe anxiety and fear to be alone and to be in public alone. But the more secere situations were in 2 relationships I have been in. The first 1 sexually assaulted me countless times. In situations where I could not escape or find safety. This person also manipulated me and emotionally abused me into thinking I was worthless besides my physical self. And without him no one would love me or want me. He was also aggressive and hurt me...many times. Eventually I was able to get away, and then this person proceeded to stalk me and follow me until they eventually let it go. The 2nd person, who was told about the previous person, who knew what had happened to me before...sexually assaulted me as well. Thats when I really started believing thats all I was. Just a body for them to play with when they wanted to. No other affection was given to me by them unless it was sexual. I was manipulated into doing things I never wanted to do. And the ptsd from the previous relationship made it even harder to step away and stop what was happening. This relationship lasted 11 months before I was able to get away. Nearly every week for 11 months I was sexually assaulted, emotionally abused, and torn down by this person. This person also constantly flirted with other girls and threatened to leave me for them because they could give him more. The relationship was nothing but toxic and left me with more anxiety and ptsd then ever. And now nearly 4 years later... I am started to come to terms with what happened to me. Realizing it was real and not just a nightmare. And that my feelings, anxiety, and ptsd is real and VALID. I've been fighting this battle alone and in the dark for 5 or 6 years. And I'm finally at a place where I can speak up and give my heart and mind the help and nurture they need.