Not tonight

I haven't slept in a bed in years. I can't. I don't think I can feel safe in bed. I would do almost anything to never need to sleep. It has been decades since I used crystal meth. I seriously can't handle bed time. I guess I never have because I cleaned up 20 years ago. I just need to get through one more night without using. I need some other way to make this fear stop. I don't know what I'm going to do tonight. But I'm trying so hard to make it.