Numb, angry, regression, idk what to think
I've been managing my emotions, flashbacks and realizations of everything that happened to me. Most days I can move forward like it never happened...a few days ago things changed. I was scrolling on Facebook and a suggested friend showed up showing an engagement ring and my ex that rapped me. Knowing that the man that rapped, sexually assaulted, manipulated, gaslighted, verbally assaulted me was now getting married just brought back more flashbacks and anger. I have been able to avoid this man for the past few years and now I'm anxious and having trouble coping and blocking out the flashbacks. I want to throw up just imagining him being engaged and the possibility that he could be gaslighting and assaulting the person too. I keep telling myself to forget the post, you don't have to deal with him. But all I can think in the back of my mind is he should be in jail not out in society. I wish when it happened I had found a way to document evidence and make a case against him. I just don't know how I should feel. If my emotions are too strong or if I'm justified feeling angry/anxious/helpless/wanting justice.
@Mistique39
Hey Mistique, I'm glad you dared to come out and write about it, I can imagine how tough that must feel for you to see the person who abused you get out there and marries someone that must feel awful for you! The most important thing is when someone gets abused is not to blame ourselves for it, it's normal for us to think that it's our fault and that we let it happen to us, but I want you to know that they were nothing you could do about it to stop it. I hope it's getting better for you very soon. ❤❤❤
In most states there is a 5year limitation to reporting. If it has been within those 5 years talking to authorities or a local rape center may be able to help see your options. I understand what you are going through with the reoccurring reminder. That can bring up a lot and you can’t just forget about it or push it down :( it’s very stressful and if you need to reach out I’m sure a listener would be happy to message with you <3