Processing and Introduction

This is my first time doing something like this but I want to grow as a person and work through past trauma, about a year ago in November I was raped in the park. I walked down to the mailbox to drop off a letter for a family member, it happens to be at the entrance of the park. There was a car full of eight men in total, I decided to go the long way around the car because men make me nervous due to an attempted kidnapping I went through when I was 10 years old. The men got out and began speed walking towards me, I freaked out and booked it through the park attempting to lose them. There's a thin patch of woods that goes all the way through the park on the left side, one of the men ended up getting ahold of me and dragging me into the woods. I was thrown down on the ground and could see the men looking over me, I was paralyzed with fear and felt like fighting would guarantee me being killed. All the men except one left, it's important to note I was wearing an over large hoodie with black ripped jeans. After several minutes of struggling with me, he managed to get my jeans off and he raped me, he left me there in the snow and ice like nothing had happened. I think about it everyday and I don't know how to cope, he smiled down at me before he left. How can another human do that to someone, I remember every small detail about him and I wish I didn't. Sometimes I swear I still smell the cologne he was wearing and it makes me sick to my stomach whenever I smell a similar cologne, the whole situation affects my everyday life and I've never talked about it at all. I hope this helps me and other victims, please know you aren't alone.