Really struggling.
At 14-15 - almost 6 years ago - I was in two friendships wherein I was groomed in both; the people in question were both 18-19.
For a long time, I thought in one case I was at fault for my uncomfortableness, and ought to be ashamed. In the other case, I didn't realize until much later what happened. A year and a half ago I began putting things together and began to process these things, but I've only been able to go to counseling since last November. I've made a bit of progress but I'm not as far along as I want.
It's been nearly 6 years and I don't think I'm over it. I hate that it happened and it terrifies me, yet I feel like I can't stop thinking about it. I try not to ruminate but some days it's all I can think about. I'm scared of hurting others and being a bad/toxic influence in their lives because of my trauma. I'm trying to recover, but it's really really hard and I don't know what to do. I'm just sad - I feel like I'm of no use to anybody like this. I used to be a happy person— now I'm not. I miss the old me that wasn't so burdensome.
I don't know what to do.
Hey, I’m glad you reached out!
What you went through was for sure awful and not to be messed around with. You have to know that it’s not your fault for the way you feel. Try to take steps to getting better by remembering that always. Your not in control of the past, but you are in control of the present.
Make the most out of it! Your amazing, don’t let something like that hold you back!
@modestBike489
Omg your so brave to reach out. 7 cups is a good place. I also experienced grooming. I'm so sorry you had to go through that. I have been there, feeling like you do now. I think now that your in therapy you will notice improvement. I have to say I've been in therapy 4 years and it takes time. You will slide back on occasion but stick with it. Be good to yourself. I do alot of writing in a journal and that helps alot. Know that your not alone. Best to you
ABB 💜