Repressed Sexual Assault Memories?

I've had a similar experience, except my memory loss was caused from a brain injury during my college years. Trial lasted for a full year, and even though I have no memories of it, everyone started acting a little bit different towards me. They knew. Knew it even before I did. I never tried recovering memories, and knowing it will be a horrible memory, why recover it for it to be stuck in your head?

So in my case, since everyone already knew, it didn't matter if I told anyone or not. It was entirely up to whether if I felt it would make me feel better to talk about something I have no memory of or not.

Do what's best for you. I know this isn't very helpful on what exactly to do, but it's all I got. Perhaps someone else will reply with something better.

Hello, personally I think I'd try and work through this with a mental health professional.

Molestation that is buried by memory loss, suggests trauma that is not going to go away on its own. As you stated you are already having dreams and memory loss, so it appears something is trying to surface. Also if nothing did happen, it will give you peace of mind and you won't spend the rest of your life wondering.

As for family, I believe you should put your mental health before their feelings.

i wish you well and hope everything works out for you.

Brian

The one that really comes back a lot is when I was living in Florida and hooked up with a guy. I was bartending and he came in to the bar. We flirted with each other and he seemed pretty cool. At first. Then long story short...I'm at his place we are doing cocaine. So we both were high....anyway he thought I took some while he was in the shower. But I didn't but he didn't believe me. He got mad and threw me against the bed. Picked me up and did it again. Then pulled me onto the bed. Sat on my chest n arms and proceeded to hit me in the face over n over til I finally said please stop I'm going to black out. Then he stopped hitting me and thats when he raped me. And told me if I said anything he would kill me. Hes probably back in prison now...but that's one that sticks out for now....that happened in 98.

My memories are still there I hate what he did to me

I'm going through a similar thing. My parents were mildly physically and emotionally abusive. Their punishments were messed up, but two examples stand out to me. Once I was forcibly stripped naked because "bad girls don't get clothes" (I was ~7). This memory ends with me naked on the floor and my brother being escorted to his room, but there's no resolution-I don't know how or when I got my clothes back on. In the other memory, I'm <~5, and taking a bath. My father was sitting on the toilet lid and the curtain was open. My hair was shampooed but some got in my mouth so I spit it out. He yelled at me but I told him I had shampoo in my mouth and he backed off. I spat again for fun and he got angry. He resorted to physical violence, but I don't remember anything after his hands first touching me. Again, there's no resolution. I have very few memories of my childhood, and most of them are set at school. The ones set at home that deal with my family aren't good, but I still remember them. I don't know how old I am in any memories of familial interaction, and those memories are sort of off. I have a lot of problems that can't be explained with my present memories-I'm afraid of white men (my father is white), & being touched (esp. by men), and I don't trust them at all; I have panic attacks that started when I started researching this, etc. I still live with my parents, so that could be why any memories haven't resurfaced, but I just want to know. Any thoughts?

@Theatypicalbrain that seems like allot to go through. some stuff has been happening with me as well... it's hard to explain, u know? i have massive gaps in my memory, i used to have minor nightmares but recently it's turned into flashbacks and horrible nightmares, i have allot of the symptoms of childhood assault/abuse as well. i don't know if i want to look into it, because i am scared of what i could find out. i can understand a bit of your anxiety about uncovering what happenedand communicating that to other people. it's all such a grey area, and all i have is my memory and i don't know how reliable that is. it's worrying and allot to take in. no one knows but a friend of mine who ended up guessing because i was explaining her what i was having dreams about, and she pieced it together. she ended up making me get sti testing done and i am currently waiting for results - which wasn't bad, but still, it was something that i had never even thought about. It just didn't cross my mind. i don't know what's going to happen, so i am just trying to take it one step at a time. it is all overwheleming and its been a long time leading up to all this, but i am trying to get better. these things are hard, but we will make it through.

I'm honestly terrified that something happened to me that I don't remember. I've exhibited many signs of sexual abuse/assault etc and I grew up around a man that tried to touch me when he hugged me. I'm afraid he did something that I blocked from my memory or I was just too young to remember. Something happened in the early hours of the morning just today and I am beyond lost. I feel like I'm in shock. It was not with that man. It was a friend of mine. I'm afraid. We are both minors. I didn't want it to happen. I tried to play along but i eventually couldn't keep it up. I began to cry and shake and withdraw. I don't know what to think at this point.

I really feel the need to talk about what happened to me when I was a little girl but I just can't ..the memories I have wont go away. And the nightmares I still have I just don't understand why why why..I have never talked about it to nobody and never written about it but I think I might need help now.. I kind of forgot about it and overcome this but I heard same thing happened to a family member and now I dont know what to do I feel lost..it's like the memory is stronger and the pain is hurting more than ever I don't know why..this is happening..

i always thought i was crazy or it wasn't real but the memories were repressed, as of this last year they're back and awful. :/