Seeking Justice for Past Abuse
Many of us have been victims of sexual abuse and from my own personal experience I have learned that ultimately the public tends to put the focus on justice against the abuser. In doing this I discovered the victim of said abuse can often become neglected. I testified twice against my abuser in court and the looks I received from the individuals in the courtroom haunt me to this day. I felt as if I was somehow tainted because of their stares. My mother was so focused on justice that treatment was never sought for me despite needing it at that point in time. A seven year old doesn't know what is going on when being dragged to court after being abused multiple times. This in itself can become a traumatizing experience. I am posting this to bring awareness to the victims in these situations because I feel we often go unnoticed with emphasis being placed on the abuser and punishing the abuser. If any of you suffered similar trauma and seek a listening ear, just know I am here to listen to you all. I hope you all have a better day than yesterday in hopes of a better tomorrow.
@Understandingempath
This warmed my heart. I really needed to see this today. I hope you are doing well <3
@JennMarie2
I am my friend. I hope you are as well.
@Understandingempath
Hanging in there!
Thanks for sharing your experiences with us. This must have been so hard for you. We are all here to help one another.
I know what you mean by seeking justice. I sought justice for a wrong inflicted on me at 30yr but i never succeeded. Not only that,my whole career was wiped out and i got nowhere in life. Life often is challenging and i think
seeking justice for past events is not only painful for the victims but it is hard.
I dont know if there is a way out but do stay positive. Perhaps one day things might improve👍
@tokyo2020
Thank you for this reply. That's unfortunate to hear about your career. I've had to completely start over twice now in terms of my own career. I made the post to highlight how the victim often gets ignored in any case involving abuse whether it be sexual, verbal, or physical abuse. Emphasis is typically put on the offender and as a result the victims needs are often ignored entirely. Empathizing and validating are effective but only to a certain extent. As a child I feel therapy could have helped and my decline in school and other aspects of life may have been reversed as a result but again I am reflecting and choosing not to dwell on the what if. By reflecting I am able to assist others who are facing similar hurdles in their own lives to help ensure they do not suffer as I did over the years. My abuser is serving a lengthy sentence because his victims testified but this led to one committing suicide, one becoming an abuser themself and then there is myself trying to undo or lesson the damage inflicted by that mans actions. It's a tough road at times but I know I chose the higher ground in this journey and am so thankful I eventually had supports though they did not know my struggles.
Dear Understandingempath,
Having been in the valley of darkness for nearly 2decades, i am now contend to let any injustices inflicted on me go. Simply because dwelling on them means investing energy which could be directed to more worthwhile pursuits.I know that resolution in the form of seeking legal punishment, is one form of closure that many victims seek. But for me, i rather find peace within myself at the end of each day. I am thankful not ever to have to experience this level of abuse again.So this thought provides me with a peaceful closure.
I had to change my career another 3 times after that but i think these challenges create opportunities for resilience and for a deeper knowledge of yourself.
Having acquired this level of self knowledge, i can better handle further challenges. As the saying goes, when you hit rock bottom, there is really only one way you could proceed, that is upwards, towards the light, towards a better future, towards successes and more satisfactions.
I think gratitude and acceptancebeing are the key to unlocking the feeling of inferiority and diminished role that injustice has inflicted on us.Anyway, it seems to help me and i hope it will help others too.
@tisch20
I completely agree with you on letting things go we cannot change. Kudos to you for looking forward. Your words are truly inspiring my friend. I hope the best of luck for you as we all progress in this ever changing unpredictable life.
@Understandingempath
For me, I have had the good fortune to read two of your forum posts so far. I so appreciate the fact that you are here on 7 cups and also adore your approach! It takes so much courage to come forward and share in the ways that you do! I know being vulnerable isn't always the easiest thing to do. It seems as if you have grown a great deal. And through your pain and your growth, you are now a beacon of hope for others. Some us walk through fire and for different reasons. When are able to come out on the others side, many of us bring buckets of water for the rest! 
Thank you for your passion for compassion! Thank you for being you!
It has also been a priveledge to get to know you in the LSR! 
Thank you for your good work there as well, your lightheartedness, your sense of humor, the joy you bring but all the while helping others.
*high fives* and big *hugs*
@SparkyGizmo
Thanks my friend that means so much to me!
