Sexual Misconduct: What is Consent?

Sexual Misconduct is one of the traumatic experiences faced by people across the world. While sexual abuses (e.g. rape) often comes to our mind when talking about traumatic experiences, any other form of sexual misconduct (e.g inappropriate touches, threats, blackmailing, showing obscene photographs/videos etc.) can have lifelong negative impact on a survior's life. It is not uncommon for survivors to blame themselves after they face any sexual misconduct. And very unfortunately, it's even more common in our societies to blame a survivor/victim or question about their consent, or even to weigh their consent.

Thus, I think it is extremely important to understand 'Consent' in sexual/intimate activity.

Sexual misconduct is a broad term used to encompass a range of behaviors including sexual harassment, nonconsensual sexual contact (sexual assault), nonconsensual sexual penetration (rape), and sexual exploitation. Terms that are also used culturally include date rape, acquaintance rape, or intimate partner violence. Sexual misconduct can occur between individuals who know each other, have an established relationship, have previously engaged in consensual sexual activity, and between individuals who do not know each other.

Sexual misconduct can be committed by persons of any gender identity, and it can occur between people of the same or different sex.

Any type of sexual or intimate interaction must be based on Effective Consent between two individuals (or parties), regardless of the degree of intimacy. For example, it cannot be implied that a sexual intercourse will require consent and kissing will not require consent from the other individual (or party).

Effective consent must be obtained for each instance and each escalation of sexual activity. Obtaining effective consent is the responsibility of the party initiating sexual activity.

Effective Consent is:

- informed;

- freely and actively given;

- mutually understandable words or actions;

- which indicate a willingness to participate in

- mutually agreed upon sexual activity.

Further:

- Initiators of sexual activity are responsible for obtaining effective consent.

- A 'No' just means 'No'. It does not mean 'may be', 'in future' or any such things.

- Silence or passivity is not effective consent.

- The use of intimidation, coercion, threats, force, or violence negates any consent obtained.

- Clothing of a person does not indicate their consent. A person can wear anything they like. It is their personal choice. Regardless of their clothing type, effective consent is a must for any sexual/intimate activity.

- Consent is not effective if obtained from an individual who is incapable of giving consent due to one or more of the following or other reasons:

- a mental, intellectual, or physical disability; or

- is under the legal age to give consent; or

- is asleep, unconscious, or physically helpless; or

- is incapacitated by alcohol or other drugs.

- Consent to one type of sexual activity does not imply consent to any other or all types of sexual activity.

- A person can withdraw consent at any time.

- Consent to sexual activity at one time does not imply consent to the same or other sexual activity at any other time.

Refusal, lack of consent, or non-consent may be expressed in many ways, verbally or physically. Physical resistance is not necessary to communicate a lack of consent. It is the responsibility of the initiator of the sexual activity to obtain effective consent.

Individuals who initiate sexual activity assume responsibility for their behavior and must understand that the use of alcohol or other drugs does not reduce accountability for their actions. The question is whether or not the person who initiated the sexual activity knew or whether a sober and reasonable person in the same position should have known whether the other person gave effective consent.

So if you have ever experienced any sexual misconduct, it is not your fault in any way. You are not the one to blame nor you bear any responsbility of any such incident.

(Based on Student Sexual Harassment and Misconduct Policy of Massachusetts Institute of Technology)