Shame after sex
I was molested from ages 6-11....
As an adult, everytime I meet a man I rush into bed. After sex, I feel a lot of shame and expect him to leave. I tend to get very anxious and annoyed when he does not call or text right away. I seriously drive myself crazy. This is a recent thing and I had a dream last night that I was singing hopelessly devoted. WTF. I seriouslu just met the guy. It is so annoying.
Why do I feel shame? Why can't I just have sex? Why do I want to have sex so soon but then I do not really even like it. It is not even enjoyable. I actually have to be pretty tipsy to be able to go through with it.
@dihahey
Maybe you want sex because you feel that is the "right" thing to do? The only way you'll get love? And deep down you know there's more ways to being loved than that? So your logic part faces the irrational and emotionally damaged one.
I'm just guessing. I feel the exact same way but is because I was sexually hassaulted.
Do you think the things I adressed might be related to what you're feeling?
@Booklover95
I think so... I think that maybe the only way to get a man to stay is to have sex with him.
I am not sure where the shame comes from. I suppose there is just a lot of shame around sex because of what happened. It has never been a good experience for me but rather it is always so confusing and there are so many crazy emotions that some with it.
I really need to be in a relationship with someone where sex is not a part of it until later on. If it ever gets to that point.
It is crazy how one abuser (two in my case) can have such an impact on someones entire life.
@dihahey
Honestly I can 't say the reason. I think is because it comes such a normal thing that our brains think is normal, but we know is not so we get ashamed for submitting ourselves to it. But this is just a theory.
However please try to fight your brain on this. Nothing here was your fault and you don't need to feel ashamed for having sex. Of course is ideal for having sex with someone you care about, but while you recover if you end up having one night stands, don't blame yourself. Recovering from trauma is VERY hard. You're doing the best that you can! You should be proud :)