Still raw

Hey new poster here, TW ahead...

I joined university back in September. I am not a big drinker (18 is the legal age here) but agreed to go on a night out with my flatmates. I got very drunk and a guy who was friends with the group I was with invited me to go and smoke weed with him and I accepted. While we were smoking he kept kissing me and I kept pushing him off. I should also mention that I am a gay girl with a girlfriend of 4 years. He told me I looked tired and offered to take me back. Once we got back I pretty much passed out on the bed. I don't remember my clothes being taken off, I don't remember anything after that apart from when he started then I passed back out. That was in November. I've had counseling but she doesn't really help. I get flashbacks, I'm scared of the dark as I feel like he's standing next to me, I hate strangers touching me. I dissociate a lot when things get really stressful and I have relapsed into self harm after 3 years of being clean. I feel isolated from my friends, I can't go out in fear that I'll bump into him and I feel so alone. Most night's I'm up until 3/4/5 am crying. I just want all this to stop.