Support for those who've been assaulted by a "friend".

I know it may be painful to remember those things but I think staying positive and forgiving is the right path forward. I have had simular experiences with sexual abuse in my early/mid teens. I always thought that it was necessary to stay quiet instead of making it a big awkward experience for the whole family. While this was not a family member that abused me, it was a neighbors son that did. He was just a couple years older than me. He would always bring me gifts growing up and treating me like a princess. I grew to trust him alot but that soon changed. And I did like him a lot, he was sweet and cute. However, he started to abuse me a several times all the way till my 14 bday.

It wasn't like he raped me or anything like that. He starting grooming me which then lead to coercion. He wanted me to perform non-penetrative sex. I won't go into too much details but he wanted me to use my hands and my boobs. Growing up i didnt think much of it since i was young and just did what i was told. I never told anyone because i was too afriad and embarrassed by it. Back then I was grossed and degraded by it. I do blame the influence porn had on his young mind and considering boys are always sexually active i kinda of just accept it now. Trauma can vary depending on what sexual abuse occurred.

I am now in my early twenties with a boyfriend. The guy i grew up in our neighborhood is now in a different state and has asked for my forgiveness which he contacted me through Facebook. Which is incredibly hard to do but I have forgiven him. This is the right step forward regardless of the trauma. Forgiveness helps if it is attainable given your circumstances.

My best friend and I were laying in his bed and he took my virginity while I was saying no the whole time. I felt broken after the whole experience. I just kept saying if I had done something different or if I tried to push him off and not just say no I could have prevented it. It happened not too long ago and I still blame myself. We still speak and I’m afraid to tell anyone because he’s my best friend and I don’t want him to get in trouble. I thought best friends were supposed to care and be there for you no matter what, not want to hurt you. I don’t know what to do.