*TW* How do I end my relationship with my dad but not my family
**For context my dad, mom and adult siblings live in another state. My dad is known by everyone for being abusive but everyone is too scared to do anything. They believe everything he says as truth and will not argue with him.
My dad used to touch all over my body when I was a teenager and have me undress from the waist up. He would have me sit on his lap and just hold me while I was half naked. He never exposed himself to me but sometimes would have me massage his hip and ask me to go lower. This went on for about 3 or 4 years.
I’m now 28 with 3 kids and I want to cut him out of my life. The problem is I tried telling my mom before and she just said I was lying. So I just let things go.
I have a baby girl now and I’m terrified of him having any kind of relationship with her. Part of me wants to tell everyone the truth since my sister-in-laws are both expecting babies this year but if I tell them I’m worried they will take his side and I lose my family.
My husband is on board with whatever I decide but I need some advice from anyone that has gone through something similar.
@lightWriter5479
you have every right to protect your child ..... people do not want to believe things about a family member. just keep your distance and protect your children. i cut some family off because of other issues and it was strained to deal with those who tried to remain neutral.
I can understand your wanting to tell sisters in law because even if they do believe you you will feel better knowing you tried if anything were to happen.... later on.
@lightWriter5479
That sounds like an extremely difficult situation and makes sense why you'd want to end the relationship with your dad to protect yourself and your family you have now. It's so hard when stuff like that in families happen because there is a lot of side-picking and the idea of losing the family that you do want to be close to is scary.
I don't have kids, but if I did I don't know that I'd want them around my dad alone, without me. I'm not sure if he's ever done anything sexually inappropriate (I've had some flashbacks but not sure if they're real memories or not), but he's definitely made some inappropriate comments and has said and touched my teenage cousin (who my parents have custody of) in inappropriate ways.
I know a lot of people who have gone completely no contact with family members and it's been the best thing for them. For me, I just limit my interaction with my dad. I communicate with my mom. I don't text or call my dad at all. I also live in another state away from my family, and so I'll interact with my dad as minimally as possible when I'm visiting.
What you do about your relationship with your dad and family is totally up to you, but at the end of the day you've got to think about what is best for you and your daughter long-term. I hope you're able to do some reflection and find a way that feels good and is safe for you and your daughter