Vaginal exam, was this appropriate?
Sorry that this is long. So about 2 years ago I went to a walkin clinic because my doctor was away. I got a male doctor and he prescribed me yeast infection pills after I told him my symtoms. When I took the pill I didn't feel any better, instead I felt worse. I went back to see that same doctor. He said that we should take a few swab samples to make sure it's not another type of infection. I just want to point out that he is not a gynecologist, he's just a family doctor who primarily just does walkins.
During the vaginal exam there was a nurse assistant in the room with us. Here's what I thought was strange. The swabs seemed to take quite a bit longer to do than expected. He didn't use a speculum because I was extremely red raw and sore so he said he was just going to use his fingers (with gloves). I apologise if this is tmi, he had a finger inside my vagina and was kind of twisting it back and forth and he said he wanted to make sure there were no lumps or anything abnormal and he needed to get enough discharge on the 3 swabs. Is that normal? (Side note: sorry TMI, I've been fingered before by my boyfriend and what the doctor did, it didn't feel the same way thankfully. It still was just weird. I'm not sure if it was the fact that I was clearly in an uncomfortable position having a man down there and also having someone else in the room). I'm so used to my female doctor who usually only takes a few seconds to do an exam. I also want to point out that I haven't had many vaginal exams done before and I don't believe my family doctor has ever felt around for abnormalities in the vagina, however I have read that this is normal.
After the exam was over he left the room so I could get dressed. When he came in he asked if I had recently had sex and I said no. He had asked why and I responded that I was having some ongoing vaginal issues and that I was having some issues with my boyfriend. He asked what type of relationship issues I was having. I didn't really get into it. A part of me found it weird but another part of me wonders if he was just trying to be nice and offer a listening ear if I needed to talk.
He also said I seemed quite tight. I'm not sure if he actually meant it in a sexual way. I'm sure he was just referring to my inflamed vaginal issue. He then made a comment that the next time I have sex it might be difficult because of my issue.
Do you think his actions were innapropriately sexual? I feel kind of weird about it and I'm not sure if maybe he meant it in an innocent way. I'm also so used to having my same female doctor. She's very fast at what she does and this guy seemed to take a longer time down there. I'm not sure if maybe he just wasn't used to taking swabs, I'm sure female doctors do this more than males.
I had to go back to him the following week to get my swab results. After I got my results he made a comment that I'm a beautiful girl. I was a bit taken aback but at the same time I think he may have just meant it as a nice compliment. He didn't say anything flirtatious. He then made some small talk asking about what I was doing for new years and he told me what he was doing. He didn't ask me out or anything. He just said if I have any other issues I'm welcome to come back.
I think I felt uncomfortable over the nature of the exam since it's never fun having someone you dont know go in your "area". I think some of his comments borders on innapropriate but at the same time I think it may have just been his type of personality. I don't mean this to sound racist but I know he used to practice medicine in a different country so I thought maybe there was a bit of a culture clash.
Since it was a while ago I feel like my memory is a bit fuzzy on every small detail. My questions here are, do you think the actual physical exam was innapropriate? It's hard for me to tell because I did feel uncomfortable but I also think that maybe his technique could have just been different than what I'm used to. I do believe his "beautiful" comment was innapropriate. I think because he said this it made me question if the rest of the exam was innapropriate.
I looked into making an anonymous complaint about the doctor. From what I read online, you cannot make a formal anonymous complaint. In order to make a complaint to the doctors board you have to do a formal written complaint with all of your personal information. The doctor is then informed that you made a complaint and an investigator gets involved. The whole process seems to be lengthy and it gets lawyers involved etc. Since I don't feel 100% confident that what he did was innapropriate I don't think it's a good idea to take legal action, would you agree? Another option would be to call the actual doctors office and speak to a manager there and tell them about what happened. This could all be done anonymously and then no legal investigation would be involved.
@reliableLake8314 Some of his comments certainly could make one feel uncomfortable, although it is difficult what he intended by them. By tight he may have meant tense, related to the irritation and thus the connection to possible problems with sex which later he did mention. Asking about your relationship problems is not odd based on my experience. For a while every visit at some locations it was standard to be questioned about abuse or violence, even if just there for something like a throat infection. He may have been wondering if rough sex, stis or something like that was a contributing factor to the problem you were experiencing although if it were me I would have preferred direct questions.
As for the exam itself, nothing there is standing out to me as out of the ordinary. When there's an problem, an exam can be different than a typical screen exam. Vaginal exams often do include palpation via a finger or 2. It also sounds like the doctor did describe what was being done and the general reasoning behind it.
For future exams, I think it is important for people to think about their rights that apply to many countries. It is ok to set boundaries and to deny consent to specific things. It's ok to ask what will happen before anything is done as well, so it is easy to say no to something beforehand, rather than as it is occuring. Female doctors can also be requested, although depending on availability it may delay treatment.
Something you may consider is meeting with your regular doctor or the nurse who was present and discussing things with them before deciding whether or not to go ahead with a complaint process - whether it's legal or through the clinic.
I have made complaints to a clinic manager before and I did have positive experiences that way, although my complaints were of a very different nature.
I wish you the best with whatever you do!
@AffyAvo
I just wanted to thank you so much for your answer. It made me feel a bit better about my experience. When I had posted about my experience before on a different forum, a lot of people were saying to report him. However I feel like I didn't explain it all in as much detail as I did in this post. To me his comments were out of line (the comment about calling me beautiful). It made me really start second guessing my whole exam. The only part of the exam I found very odd was how he was twisting his fingers back and forth a lot. It just feltlike he was doing that for what seemed like a long time and I guess it made me question if it was meant to be sexual or maybe it was just him attempting to get enough discharge on the swabs. To be honest because it was a long time ago and I couldn't necessarily see exactly what he was doing, I'm not sure if he was making that movement with the swab or his fingers. I ended up calling the clinic anonymously to tell them about my experience and the manager was very nice about it. She said he would get spoken to but of course there would be no formal investigation. She offered to take my name and look at my file so that she knew the exact situation and if there were any notes on my file. She said she could disclose my name to him or not, it's my decision. For now I just left myself anonymous.
@reliableLake8314 I'm glad your interaction with the manage went well!
@AffyAvo
:)
I feel like because the only exams I'm used to is when my regular doctor does a quick papsmear. I dont ever really recall her examining inside and twisting her fingers back and forth, although I hear that can be normal to check for abnormalities. Not sure if you would know, but is that a normal thing for them to do? I guess I thought it would only take a couple seconds but he seemed to spend a longer time doing those twisting motions.
@reliableLake8314 There is some twisting just to palpate certain areas. It's moreso to twist to do a side, then to the other, etc. So not really twisting back and forth. That's just for a routine exam though, not when there is an issue. I suspect the swabs would have been part of it, and I haven't had something like that done.
With something like a Pap test, it's cells from the cervix that are needed, so just touching the vaginal walls would not be enough. I don't know what tests were done for you, and even if I did I probably wouldn't be aware of the nature required for collection.
@AffyAvo
Okay no problem, just wanted to double check. He didn't take cervical samples. He was testing for stds, I believe he was doing chlamydia, gonorrhea and a couple others. There were 3 swabs in total. I'm hoping that maybe what I was feeling was first his fingers and then his swabs and trying to get enough discharge. When you're sore and uncomfortable down there it's hard to tell exactly what was going on.