Was this sexual assault? TW
I'm genuinely conflicted on what to call this encounter.
So here's the story: I was at a guy's house for the forth time. He was my first kiss which happened on the the last time I saw him. We were watching a movie and i didn't sit on the same couch as him. He came over and sat really close to me and when I moved away he put his arms around me. I went to move away again and he didn't move his arms and he ended up pushing me into the floor. He held me down under him. I struggled with him and tried to get out from under him saying stop, no, get off of me, etc. He laughed. He thought it was fun or sexy or something but I was terrified. I started offering him things if he got off. I was scared he was going to hurt me. He ended up settling for 5 dares (it was our thing. You couldn't reject a dare and it was supposed to be for eating something gross or embarrassing yourself but thats not what he wanted them for). He used them to get me to french kiss him and when he did he pinned me against the couch and i had to push him off. He used 3 of the dares on those kisses. I said no multiple times after the second one. He used the next one to make me sit on his lap (he wanted me to feel him get hard. He didn't say that but I felt it) and then he used the last one to touch my butt. He asked if it was okay and i didn't respond but he kept doing it. I eventually moved couches and he guilt tripped me for not liking it so I eventually went back. I broke up with him just over a year ago but It still bothers me.
@PorcupineRay
Im not a law-school graduete but it kinda sounds like one to me he attempted something that was obvisouly going somewhere and you didnt consent and he kept going after you said no so i think so
@PorcupineRay
Whatever it is, you can be sure it was manipulation, coercion and controlling behavior. He got a sense of power over you by intimidating you and using force to get what he wanted, i.e. these dares, or whatever else. That's abusive, it's controlling and it's manipulative. One possible reason it bothers you is that it was a huge invasion of your space. Someone exerted control over your personal autonomy and that feels, in a lot of ways, like an assault on your very self-- because it was.
