does this "count"?
hello all, im a little bit new here so im sorry if i make a mistake. i hope this is the right place to put this! recently ive been having a lot of trouble understanding myself and who i am. this has led me to really try hard to become better in whatever way i can. one of the things that has come up is what i myself feel has been sexual abuse/trauma, but im not sure if it can really be considered so? when i was a preteen i frequented this chatting app that led me to chat with someone 19 years old, i was groomed by him and "dated" him for a few months before i realized it was wrong and it made me uncomfortable. he made me roleplay sexual things with him and would force me to do many other things as well and threaten me with self-harm of suicide if i didnt do them ("if you don't do this i'll stab myself and send you a picture"). i blocked him and have never spoken to him since (it has been years). despite what he did i remember liking the attention, i guess it made me feel like i was more mature? as a result i sought out older dudes on other apps and a few months later after the first creep i eventually found one, with whom i had an extremely sexual online "relationship" with. i traded nude photos and other sick things and i wish i remembered his name so i could report him or just ANYTHING. this has significantly impacted me and maybe im oversharing but i just feel like i shouldnt be as affected by this because it was never physical, but i dont know. im really conflicted.
@QuietAffections
Sorry this happened, I am glad everything is ok now, going forward I think it would be best if you don't share photos online to anyone just to be extra safe.
@TheLoneGymLad
yes, this all happened quite a few years ago so i've realized that! thank you all the same for the support
It totally counts. Trauma can be caused by any "distressing event". You don't have to be physically touched to sustain trauma. You also don't need to feel anxious or ashamed with using that term.
@Ember7
thank you so much for that, i've been feeling really unsure about what it really counts as and this response has helped me with that! :) its difficult to change my thinking about it but im doing my best!
@QuietAffections with abusive situations, the causes and the effects aren't weighed the same. if someone deeply harmed you, they abused you. regardless of intent, or how they did it. so, what im saying is that what you went through certainly counts. what matters are your feelings, and the way the experience impacted you. this was abuse in a sexual way, so it certainly counts. i hope you don't feel like your experiences arent enough, i feel like abuse is made so much worse by the way we, as victims, tend to feel like our experiences dont really count
@QuietAffections In my opinion this counts even though these people didn't assault your body the effect it had on your mind was still traumatic,