[tw] Me..

This is my first time posting here... sorry if I'm not allowed to say any of this here.. or if it's too rough for anyone.

I first started getting sexually abused when I was really young, between 4-9. By my step dad and his brother.. I've blocked it and am starting to slowly go through what happened at my own pace with doctors and my boyfriend..

During high school. One incident happened my freshman year.. and at the start of it too. My junior and senior years the same group of three boys.. who I thought were close friends for me at the time did things too.. I never thought of any of this stuff as not normal or as an issue. Maybe I just ignored it.

A little less than a year ago I got sexually assaulted by my best friend. I thought she was at the time at least. We still kinda are? I don't know. It's complicated. I don't remember a lot of what happened.. I got drunk. She invited a guy over and they both did things to me... I vaguely remember trying to ask to stop.. Of having marks I had to hide.

I get nightmares about it all.. It's hard to talk about. Most of my family doesn't know.. I'm starting to tell my boyfriend but it's hard. I need to though with him, we're starting to get very serious and I need him to be patient and ok with me not wanting stuff sometimes.