tw: childhood sexual abuse
i am 18 now and still having to live at home with my father, who groomed and molested me for about a year when i was 12 . i tried reaching out to family, even the police . no one has ever done anything to help me . i thought i was okay for a while, but recently i keep getting triggered . even just reading to word rape in an article makes me so upset i get nauseous . i also recently found out i developed bpd from the trauma . i don't even know why i'm writing this or what would help . i want to move out but i'm not in a position to, i don't have phone service so i can't put a number on my applications, i don't have a car or even a license since my family never took me to get one, and my dad would probably just take my money anyways . he's taken money from me whenever i've had it since i was a kid . he owes me 500$ just from this year alone...i just feel stuck . it's hard not to think about suicide most days because i don't even know what im living for anymore . i lost all of my passions after the abuse . i'm not even sure how to close this off but, that's all i guess .
I'm really sorry that you had to deal with something like that and on top having to live with your father still when he was the one who hurt you. A father isn't suppose to hurt there own child. Have you maybe considered going to a women's shelter. They have resources that could help you out of your situation. And could start fresh. Living with your father is not gonna help you through this unfortunately I'm sorry to say that. But it is true. I hope that you can get the proper help that you need so help you move forward in life.