tw grooming

I met this older guy on a social media app, he was 18 and I just turned 13. my whole life I grew up without a dad, he has been in jail my whole life, this really effects my relationships. i felt so same with this random 18 year old, we met up and that night I had my first kiss, I had never been more in love. Eventually we had sex and he would get more and more rough, he would slap me if i didn’t do it, but all I wanted was to make him happy. Eventually my mum caught me sneaking around with him and she forced me to make a police statement it went back and fourth and I lied to save his ass, but eventually I realised what we were doing was wrong, even thought I still loved him, I told the police everything. I had to get several tests done, i was traumatised. turns out he was 32 and married with two kids, he got 3 years in jail. I’m now 14 and it has only been roughly a year. Everytime I close my eyes I see him, he’s on my mind 24/7, I feel like he will always have a hold over me.