An young adult afraid of teens - feels so humiliating

I'm not sure if this is in right place or not, but.. here it goes, I guess

I was bullied, when was 13. I count that year as "main" one because previously wasn't that bad, and after that wasn't as bad, but still bad or at least until 16. Verbally, emotionally, physically at times.

Well, I'm now in my 20's and it's almost 10 years past it. For first 5 years after that, I was constantly scared. If someone touched me, I'd flinch. If someone looked at me, I'd freak out. Random flashbacks, feeling I was back at that school even though I wasn't. I had nightmares about having to go back there, about seeing bullies and classmates. And worse, if I saw one of my bullies, I'd get an anxiety attack and panic rest of the day. And I did see them a few times, and couldn't tell anyone beside me no matter how much they asked, in fear they'd know the boys and know about "me".

And while the flashbacks and the touch/look reactions aren't common, there's things that still bring that past back. Like being around 10-15 year olds. I remember last month had one of my worst anxiety attacks this year, and first time this year with flashbacks and that "back to past" situation, where I felt 13 again. It was probably a day some middle schools decided to take their students out for some fair in town, and I didn't know town would be full of those students. So while eating lunch, I could hear them laughing with each other and I just got stuck in that past experience and couldn't separate today from years ago. I just ate as quick as possible, and when noticed some kids coming near where I was, laughing, I just picked my stuff, threw rest of food and trash on garbage can and ran home.

I'm an adult in my 20's afraid of 14 year olds, this is humiliating.

I'm also unable to trust males because my bullies were boys and also sexually harassed me - and then spread rumors. For some years, I couldn't even talk to a boy in my school, I'd get afraid of being hurt and that would turn in me being rude and "arrogant" some said. When actually was my anxiety/fears affecting the way I acted and talked.

I don't know why I can't fully move past this. I've handled this trauma to bullying in therapy and was having progress, which I was so happy about! No more flashbacks, no more nightmares. And then I realize the trauma is still there. Worse? I think that was what triggered my other mental health issues (unstable moods, depression, social anxiety) to resurface. I may need to take a note of this, so I can talk to my therapist in this week's appointment