Effects after Loss
I was twelve when I experienced my first traumatic loss. I found my baby brother who had passed away in his sleep. A year later my mom succumbed to her addiction and deteriorating health. I am 33 now and there isn't a day that goes by where I do not feel the effects of such a loss. I had my daughter at 21 and two years ago on the anniversary of my mom's death, I gave birth to a beautiful baby boy. Through death I have found life. I cherish every second of being a mom. The effects of such a loss sometimes make me what others call over protective. I check on my children continuously throughout the night, often enough that I lack sleep the next day. Every siren I hear, every time the phone rings late at night, I get a sinking anxious feeling of the past bubble up. If someone does not make it home in time and they do not answer my call right away, I find myself checking traffic reports and worrying the worst has happened. This is without a doubt exaughsting. I know how this effects those around me, and I also know they have grown accustomed to how I am. I don't want to live in a constant state of worry anymore. Has anyone else experienced these effects after such a loss?
@brightSpring8842
Hey, first of all, know that it's so brave of you to open up about your traumatic experiences here. They were nothing like easy to go through and you made it out. Losing a sibling and then your mother must've left an immense amount of pain that you carry in your heart to this day. *offers hugs*
One of the sentences in your passage that really caught my eye was "Through death, I have found life" This is undoubtedly one of the best lines I've heard and I admire you for the hope and courage that lurks behind that statement.
I'm glad you hear that you find being a mother to be a fulfilling experience. It's okay for you to feel overprotective of your kids, especially after all that happened in your childhood. Fear and overprotectiveness possessed me after the loss of my sister, so know that you're not alone in how you feel.
If you want to talk more about this, feel free to put out a general request or message a listener from the browse listeners page.
Here's a self-help guide which might be useful: Traumatic Experiences
Take care~ Sierra