My abortion
My boyfriend would never use a condom. He would always get me a morning after pill. This time it was of no use.
When I was late I thought maybe it is due to stress. I have been studying day and night for my exams.
But after 3 days I got scared.
I took a pregnancy test. It was positive
I took another. It was positive.
I texted him. He blamed the faulty test kit. He blamed me. You didn't take medicine, did you. He called me unworthy of love and care. He questioned my dressing, my clothes. You are a slut.
I cried. I don't remember how much I cried or when I stopped. I just cried.
On second day he bought me medicines.
I took them.
Four hours later I was bleeding.
After second dose, I passed two blood clots. I lost something in me seeing that.
A while later I passed another. I was in a lot of pain. I called him. I was crying and all he kept talking was about how I never loved me, how I am a bad partner.
It is the day after all this now. I am still in pain. And he won't attend my calls. I am all alone in my dorm with this pain and a broken heart.
I belong to a religious family and community. This relationship was a secret. No one knows about this relationship so naturally no one can know about this pregnancy and abortion.
I am so alone. I can't call my mother or a friend or him. I can't go to a doctor.
What did I do to deserve this?
@kheer999
I’m sorry to hear that you had to go through that. It’s not your fault, but I can see how stressful that could be, especially because you can’t reach out to your family, and because he is blaming you for no reason. I don’t have advice to give you, but I just want to make sure you know that you didn’t do anything to deserve going through that. Sometimes we just go through horrible things in life and we have to deal with them, but it doesn’t make it easy and definitely doesn’t seem very fair. You are strong to be telling your story. Wishing you the best, -Smiles
You didn’t deserve this. Read that again and again. You 100% did not deserve this. He is not a good person, at all. I’m sorry this has happened to you. I know you are hurting, it’s understandable. But you will heal with time. Pray for strength. It’s better you learned now what a bad person he is. I think you should see a doctor. I’m worried you are in pain. Don’t mean to scare you but if you aren’t feeling well, best to get checked to make sure you are okay. Is there an adjacent community you can go to that is less religious? Your medical care would be confidential. Hydrate and try to rest. Don’t blame yourself, it’s not your fault.
I can't go to the doctor because it is a small town. Word would spread. My family will kill me. My brother calls me a slut anyway so does my mother.
if you can drive then go to the next town over and go to an emergency room. especially of your still in pain
I'd been through same process, believe me. It's enormous traumatic loss even if you don't want to give birth. It's been 3 months and I can't forget it. But I know that if I gave birth a baby from a man who doesn't care about me and doesn't have a soul and heart, I would be disappointed through my whole life. Although I have anger and frustration still, I know that it was the right thing to do, for me and for that baby. I was alone and there was no one to talk about, so I cry every night alone, I apologize from baby, pray and forgive myself to do. Because I could not take responsibility of everything on my own and it would not fair for a baby. It was not the thing that I want for my baby, it would be not welcomed to this world from my parents or any one. He/she would be incontent and insecure child and I couldn't give this to him/her, because motherhood is always want best for your children and it was not the the best. I realized that and even if I never forget this experience, I know I gave the right decision for two of us and forgive myself. The key point is here, to accept. I know there is no woman on earth deserve this heart breaking, but life always has its own plans and only thing to do just keep moving forward. Remembering our losts and blessing their souls in our hearts. Even if no one knows.
hi sweetheart, you don’t deserve to be treated like that when you’re going through one of the most hardest and bravest things you can do for yourself. I have an abortion on the 14th of April. If you ever need to talk to someone you can talk to me.
