My best friend committed suicide
We've been friends since elementary school and have known each other for almost 14 years. We had our ups and downs, breaks amd stuff like that but overall I can say without a doubt we understood each other the best than any of the people in our lives. There's honestly so much I could say about our relationship, things that I'm thankful for and things that I seriously regret etc. but I don't wanna make the text unreasonably long.
Anyway, she committed suicide around a month ago and I totally have no idea how to deal with it. I feel lonely and broken, I still refuse to believe I will never see or hear from her again. Everything reminds me of her and I keep thinking about her almost the whole day ever since I found out she passed. One of the things that pains me a lot in this situation, besides her death of course, is the fact that her mother didn't even care to tell me about her death nor her funereal (after high school she moved to another city but she'd still visit our hometwon time to time and we wuld keep up with each other online. we went on a trip this summer together). I don't wanna paint myself a victim in this situation but it upsets me so much that i didn't get to say my last goodbyes to her.
Overall her suicide is taking a serious toll on my mental health. It's especially hard to deal with when I'm trying to fight depression myself. How do I deal with this loss in a healthy way?
Hello @janastasiabanana, I am deeply sorry for your loss. I know what it is like to lose someone to suicide and it is one of the most painful experiences. I am really glad that you are looking to find healthy ways to cope with your loss. Grief works differently for everyone and therefore the best way to cope is different for everyone. But some good general ideas for coping are:
- Talking to people - This is really important to make sure that you aren't alone with how you are feeling and allows others to help you with your grief.
- Journaling/ Keeping a Diary - This can help you keep track of your feelings if you don't want to or aren't able to talk to someone about how you are feeling.
- Art - Some people take up art to serve as a way of expressing their feelings, there are many ways to express how you feel through any form of art, and none of them are wrong.
- Reading - For some people, they need something that they can connect with outside of all of what is going on and sometimes reading can allow them to get away from their stressors.
- Socializing - Now not everyone likes to socialize, and everyone has different social batteries, but it is good to hang out with those that you care about and that care about you, as it prevents you from hyper focusing on the negative things.
- Crying - Crying is perfectly healthy and okay! It's good to cry and let your emotions come, you don't want to repress how you feel.
Note that not all of these work for everyone, and that it's okay if some of them don't work. There are also more healthy coping mechanisms than these, these are just a few of the big ones. Hopefully one or more of these will be helpful. You have my condolences for you loss.
Sincerely,
Jet01
Thank you so mcuh for your advice, Jet01!
Hey, Im a senior in high school and one of my really close friends died by suicide 2 weeks ago. It’s been a really difficult past few weeks and I’ve found talking to people who are also grieving really helps. I’ve also taken up journaling and i think that is helping. I know you posted your story awhile ago so you’re probably in a different stage of grief then me but we can both do this ❤️