Terrible Deaths of Pets…..
When I was young, my brother bought home 2 small turtles. He was young like me and you know when you’re young, anything is believable. Well, he told me that the lady who sold him the turtles said to feed them twice a week……..
When you’re young, it’s exciting to care for an animal! I loved it! But of course, they died and I was so devastated by their deaths that I tried giving them CPR and thought that splashing them with sink water would help bring them back to life.
I was really young, so I don’t remember how I coped with it afterwards, but later in the future, when I was about 9-10 years old, I got 2 beautiful white doves. I LOOOOVED them and played with them everyday!! I made sure they got good food, treats, fresh water….
Then one day, I got picked up from school and was heading home. I was so happy and couldn’t wait to see them that I called home. I asked how my doves were doing and I was told that one of them died and that froze my being.
When we finally got home, I saw her lifeless body in the cage and it shattered my aching heart.
When my turtles and dove died, I never had a therapist to talk to and no one consoled or comforted me about their deaths. I did t have many friends at school, but I was always the “wild and crazy” one in my friend group, but when I became quiet, they didn’t even ask what was wrong with me.
I had no emotional support growing up. I don’t think I fully processed what had happened, until years later, now that I’m 28 and focusing on inner child healing, I realized that their deaths impacted me a hell of lot more than I thought. I guess the lack of emotional support and having to keep going through life made me suppress it.
When your young, you also think of reasonings as to why they died or you believe that the ones you live would die cruelly too. That life can be meaningless. When you’re alone, the most depressing thoughts can birth within you.
If I could go back in time, I wish I had met someone who saw how different I was acting and asked what was wrong or that I was given an opportunity to speak to a therapist or someone compassionate and understanding.
It’s terrible when you open up to someone about something horrible to you and they treat it as if it’s a minor issue. Then friends leave you because you’re not funny or silly anymore…
Growing up, I don’t think I met anyone who saw their pet as if they were their baby, or that they had a valuable life. Pets depend on you for food, water, and shelter because once you take them in, they can’t provide for themselves. When you give them love, you see trust developing and it’s just so fragile…
A major part of my innocence died with their deaths… What makes this more traumatic for me is that later on, when I ended up having about 20 doves, we had to give them up. We found a place that supposedly doesn’t give shots to animals and we gave all of them up except for 4 I think.
I was so sad to depart from them, that when we were all in the car, I was In my most vulnerable state, needed comfort and hope, I asked, “They’ll be ok, right?” My father sighed and said blankly, “No one will want them. Yes, they’re gonna get a shot and die.”
His cold words stabbed me hard in the heart and I cried viciously.
My mother and brother stayed quiet the whole time while my father continued to step on my hopes and vulnerability.
Having no emotional support during traumatic events is one thing, but when it happens again and you’re stabbed in the heart in response just hurts so damn much… I want to give my inner child her innocence and hope back…
I also wanted to mention that my dad kept repeating himself that they were all gonna get a shot. I think I was about 12 years old at the time.
What’s terrible is that I used to saw my dad as my best friend. When he called me stupid and began treating me differently, that shattered my heart as well. despite getting good grades at school, super high scores in English Lit., my teacher was so impressed, but I became depressed and felt shattered in self-esteem and my scores dropped immensely.
Kids are so fragile… When their built up good, blindly thinking their dad was their superhero, their best friend, loving them unconditionally, but then suddenly, they shove you off and let you fall without a care… That emotions mean nothing… Emotional well-being and support is so important…
I think if I still believed my dad was the best friend and superhero who loved me like I thought he did, I probably would’ve achieved so many great things already… but I’m here, all alone and sad, and have been for years… but I know that the first step is opening up. I hope to heal my wounds or at least given myself what I needed then…
I feel sad that no one read my story. This is why I don’t share things because I know no one can understand… I was right that there’s no emotional support. I’m truly nothing.
And when I do reach out, no one takes that hand….
@selenite0soul I'm sorry for what you went through. Those would be terrible words to hear as a child. Words that would cut deep and stick with you for years. I know that there are parents that feel honesty is best but at the age of 12 your father could have been more understanding and careful with his words. I think that many people see animals as just animals. They don't see them as friends or family.
Animals are simply amazing in my opinion. They love unconditionally. They make wonderful companions and are often our secret keepers as children. When they die unexpectedly ,we automatically assume that it was out fault. Something we did or didn't do that caused it. Parents should take the time to console and explain things, gently.
No one should ever be called stupid. Especially by an adult. Those are words that you grow up believing and those dropping grades should have been a warning sign to everyone, teachers and parents that something wasn't right in your world. I'm sorry that so many people failed you. They failed to see that you were hurting.
Do you see a therapist now? It might help with the things you're trying to work through. Although, talking about things here is a good first step too.
I'm sorry no one replied to this sooner. I'm finding that many times people go by replies on a new thread. If you did a second post shortly after the first post, it takes it off the needs reply list. You are NOT nothing and you deserve compassion and support just as much as anyone else. I'm sorry no one reached for your hand sooner.
Omg thank you for such a beautiful message 🥺
This really touched my heart, you have no idea how much this means to me. Your words reached out to me so profoundly, I cannot express my gratitude to you.
I wish I had met someone like you growing up. The right words are so healing, especially to me when my love language is Words of Affirmation… This brought a lot of healing and comfort to the parts of me that were rusted and dry within me. Thank you, thank you, thank you, I want to cry…
I called a therapist, but they are so busy with a waiting list and have not called me back. I feel she’s the only one I want to talk to, I’m very selective with therapists, she was the only one locally that mentioned of empaths, and I am an empath.
And unfortunately, my father’s honesty was deliberate. He didn’t care about my suffering. It was evident in his cold and careless tone. It was equivalent to saying “Whatever, it’s you’re lost, nothing you could do about it, and I’m not going to do anything for you, so cry all you want, no one’s gonna save you or them.”
But your words were like a warm hug or hot chocolate on a cold day. Thank you dearest user. It was very sweet of you to notice me and reply back with such an amount of compassion that I desired. You are such a lovely being with a great way of words. Thank you again, God bless you 🥹❤️
@mytwistedsoul
@selenite0soul Words do have a lot of power. I think sometimes people underestimate the power of them. They can inspire, they can heal but they can also cause great pain and damage that lasts a lifetime.
I'm glad you called a therapist and I hope they get back to you soon. It's good to be selective when it comes to choosing one because we're basically handing our mental health over to them and we need to have one that we click with, one who is gentle with us as we navigate our way.
In all honesty, I can imagine the tone he used. There have been times that I thought, its not so much what's said but how its said. As a child those words, in that tone would cut deeply and they would leave a deep mark on you.
(Offers a safe virtual hug) You're very welcome. I wish you the best in your healing journey. You deserve it! ❤️