ANYTHING???
I'm 23 years old my career is caregiving its all i know i did it for about 2 and half years and i stopped talking to my whole family i only talk to my mom and sisters i have a boyfriend that is 27 yrs old and we been dating for 1 year and 1 month i wanted to talk about dreams i been having they scare me. its a different person each time the first person was a guy named Oliver it was one of the guys i was taking care of i got fired a couple of months ago and the second person was my nana who i stopped speaking to cause she did something unbelievable and i do miss her sometimes but i know it was best for myself to end that relationship. i feel alone and misunderstood and getting fired BROKE MY SPIRIT. I'm just still sad cause i was good to the boss and the residents so i guess you can say i struggle with it everyday also cause i always see caregivers on my TIKT0K & i have friends that are caregivers and i guess it just hurts my soul when i see or hear it and for my family i don't really think about them and when i do its anger towards them all i just miss my nana a little but my anger for her is bigger. me and her were like best friends a least that's what she said to me she chose her son over me and let him lock me out the house & would not let me get my things and let him steal my boyfriends ps5 i got a new caregiver job but they have not started me due to me not having a dl or car insurance so i struggle with that everyday i have my mom on my a** cause the house is always a mess there are 5 adults in the house one teenager i clean here and there but for the most part all i can do lately is lay down or sleep my mother does not believe in mental health i been trying to go for hikes and go to church which she make fun of and i just try to stay active something that also helps me is worship music it makes me feel something in my heart i don't know what it is about the music but i love it i like the atmosphere of going to church and seeing all the people feel the same thing i do i think its beautiful and i been listening ever since i was 14 i fell in love with worship music the first church i went to where i heard good worship music was a church called celebration church i started going there after a close friend died of cancer that is also something i struggle with every single day.
@compassionateCoconut3261
Would you like to talk to someone ? To see if you could feel understood, and not fully alone, at least online
@compassionateCoconut3261
I can relate. I've been having similar dreams..and have no one really to talk to about them. Um, I would share with you of course..
You're experiencing multiple losses (work, family, and personal) that have drained your energy.
Acknowledge your exhaustion: It's not laziness, it's compassion fatigue and depression. Your body needs rest because your "spirit is broken" after giving so much to others and receiving so little in return.
Protect your peace: If *** is painful for you, avoid caregiver content for now. If church and music heal you, hold on to them; they are your emotional refuge where you reclaim your identity.
Fill things off on paper: Dreams about Oliver and your grandmother are unresolved issues. Writing them a letter (that you won't send) can help release the anger and sadness from your system.
Prioritize your logistics: Focus on the small step of getting your driver's license, as it's the key to regaining your independence and leaving the tense environment of your home.