I don't know where to start
I'm divorced with 3 kids that are in my care almost 50 percent of the time, I'm getting screwed by child support, dealing with their mom is every bit of a nightmare I don't know what to do or how to accept that this is my life if I want to be in my kids lives.
@proactiveLunch7971 hi I'm lola ❤ you know the closest thing to heaven is a child ❤ and you are very blessed to have 3 miracles in your life 🙂❤ I understand problems with their mother, and money issues. All the stress that comes with being a parent, it is extremely hard and a lot to anyone to mentally take on. And that's where we come in, you have 7 cups now, we are all like a big family here, and very supportive of each other, we can help pick you up when things get hard, your free to be yourself here, without judgement ❤ gives you a giant tiny hug, I hope you get all the support you deserve here ❤ but before choosing wether you want to be the parent you've become, or to bail out. Please remember kids are a blessing so think carefully, no regrets ❤
My youngests name is Lola. Thank you for your kind words
@proactiveLunch7971 awwww your youngest has a very pretty name😁 I'm sure they all do ❤❤ gives you a supportive hug
Yes they all do, Lily, Lyla, and lola... atleast I like to think so but of course I'm biased lol
@proactiveLunch7971 they are all very pretty names ❤❤❤ if I had a daughter I want to call her Leah
Very pretty name
@proactiveLunch7971
Hi I'm IKEA and I'm part of the Welcome Committee!
I'm really glad you decided to join 7cups, and I know it can be a bit scary to get used to here. I want to welcome you and tell you well done on taking the first step to try to get advice!
If you ever want to talk to someone 1 on 1 you can go to the Browse Listeners tab and find a listener.
Thanks for joining and I hope you get all the support you need!
@proactiveLunch7971 hey brother, single dad here, divorced over 10 years. i know what you're going through. the system is unfortunately not fair, and that's an understatement. it's infuriating. i'm sorry you're dealing with this now. i'm also sorry to say that yes, dealing with the kids mother and all her charms will be a reality, at least until the kids become older, at which point it becomes far less, although still a nuisance at times. the silver lining is that you have them almost half of the time. that means half the time the kids will be with you and seeing the example you set. i would recommend focusing on this, and being the absolute best dad you can be to them. i would recommend not thinking about their mother as much as humanly possible. don't bring her up in conversations with the kids. try to process things mentally and let go in your mind. yes, it sucks, but now is the time to focus on you and what you have in your control, which is how you choose to act. it's not an easy road but it is a road you can go down successfully and have happy, well-adjusted kids, and also you yourself can find peace. good luck brother
I'm very grateful for the time I have with them and while my kids know their mothers hatred for me, they don't know my feelings towards her. I could handle it all alone better I'd she wasn't such a awful person to deal with. But it's hard to struggle as much as I do when I'm paying so much in child support that I'm skipping meals to make sure there's food in the house when my kids come. Of course they will never know this. Even though I hate their mother more than anything my kids still love her as their mom and I'll always respect that.
@proactiveLunch7971 I also had to wrestle with the decision on how to speak of the kids mother when i knew she was speaking badly of me. ultimately i chose the high road, and i think it works out for the best in the long term. in the short term, it was difficult, because the kids would have ideas planted in their mind. but if you patiently point out the truth, and continue to live your life as good person, eventually the kids do see this all on their own
Hey! Just someone struggling with something entirely different than you in life. Saw this post, got a different perspective on things, got out of my mind's cage for a while, thinking how everyone is going through different categories of struggles, and how our own personal struggles cam feel both trivial and massive based on perspectives!
People in this comment section definitely have better and more useful things to say. I just hope you find the support you're looking for here! We're all here for you ❤️
