I’m having trouble with my mom
recently , I’ve been having a lot of trouble with my mom. She’s been very mean when asking me to do certain chores, threatening to do something if I don’t do my chores. (Nothing abusive, just stuff like “oh I’ll throw everything in your room away if you can’t clean it”) and I’ve tried to express to her how this doesn’t make me want to comply, and how she should just ask nicely instead of trying to threaten me over things. She claims this is because I don’t do what I am told, but I do when I’m asked nicely and given a reasonable time frame. For example, my dad asks me to do things all the time. “Can you do these things today?” And I do them , i don’t complain. But when I get home from work my mom immediately starts demanding and threatening? And I don’t get it? I’ve been trying to figure out if I am the one wrong? Like maybe I haven’t been doing what she’s asked? It’s very hard because I have college classes and work to catch up with so. Sometimes I can’t remember what I’ve done. And when I try to communicate with her how it’s hard to do things for her when she’s being mean, she says it’s my problem and that I’m being sensitive and maybe I am I don’t know that’s why I need advice. And sometimes my room isn’t very clean but I’ve been really stressed lately so it’s hard but I don’t get why she has to be rude..? And this isn’t only about cleaning… many people in the family have asked her to take accountability for things and she always puts it on us and . I want to have a good relationship with her so bad :(
@Elliejellyy
Hi,
Oh, I hear you very well. I hear you as a child of a demanding mother, and I hear you as a mom, too. I have a lot of respect for you writing that you want to maintain a good relationship with your mother. On the other hand, you have a life and responsibilities. If somebody is busy at their workplace or school, the tidiness of the room falls back on the to do list. I close the door if I don't want to see what is happening in my teenage son's room. Of course, I keep an eye on that nothing could crawl out from there, and I have a "smell limit." That's it. And, you do not want to see what is on my desk right now (....)
@Elliejellyy
Sounds like Maybe your mom is having some issues ........maybe anger or depression and you just have labeled it as mean. How many times should she ask you before you just do it without being monitored or reminded. When she is in a fit and threatening to throw your stuff away if you do not clean ... Do you push back and not clean to test her if she will follow through.
Parents are different people .....and yet I see or hear people who seem to think it should be the same
sometimes kids get along and communicate with one parent, better the the other ... i was always like this with one child and now after they have grown up i see why... have another whom never could connect with dad but i see that now too.
If you want to get along you may need to reexamine your relationship and and the items your mom is dealing with as well...
Hi Elliejellyy
how are you today, hope you are feeling better. I can feel it for you, i had a difficult relationship with my mum for many many years too, not exactly as your case but i was so annoyed and resist with her behaviours. After many years, to be honest, she has not change much, a little may be… but i have slowly changed, in a sense of understanding why she had the behaviour… not that we are all good, and does not mean i agree with her behaviour, but understanding her makes me little more ease on my side. Together with keeping an acceptable distance, we are now in a more peaceful zone. I hope you can work out a more comfortable relationship with your mum too. :)
Mothers are like that all over the world they like throwing threats but sometimes they love thier kids
Maybe they want to bring us up in a tough way
But ithink ure mother loves you
