I’m so tired
I recently found out my Mother is back in prison and won’t be released until 2031. She has a parole hearing next year but she’s a flight risk and has violated multiple times for it so I doubt they’ll give it to her again. I’m not shocked since she’s been in and out of prison and jail since I was 12-13 I’m 23 now. but for some reason it always opens up old wounds for me and reminds me of all the generational trauma in my family. and it’s really just a downward spiral unfortunately.
Beside that basically raising my Little Sister now and seeing how this is affecting her is heartbreaking to me. She’s slacking at her job and being more combative, staying up late and staying in her room more often. And basically doing all the rebellious teen things I did at her age but she’s a lot more sensitive than I am so it’s harder to try and communicate to help her without it feeling like an attack on her which is never my intentions.
Life is just a lot rn and it’s really weighing me down lately, I’m new to venting online like this but I’m so tired of being bottled up..
I'm sorry this is happening to you. I really do think that talking about what's weighing you down and having someone(s) validating your experiences helps. like it alleviates the pain a bit. I hope it does the same for you
Sounds like you both had intentions and wants and desires for your mom to step up and instead did what she has been doing your whole life. Your sister is probably not handling it any worse than you are, just In different ways. She was likely a bit more outwardly hopeful that she would be around this time.
Gah that's so hard and I'm so sorry you have been dealing with this. You're strong and brave, girl. Known that the loss is hers for sure