Negativity and Wishing I was more Positive.
Lately I have been feeling like a bad Christian and a bad person. I don't feel like I have anything to offer anyone, and yet I also feel like I'm selfish and deserve all the bad that has happened to me. Talking like this also makes me wonder if I am not a toxic person too.
Negativity has always been a big problem with me. I take life very seriously. I put a lot of thought into everything I do. Whenever I try to imagine not being so negative, I just can't do it. The problem started not long after I was born. My teacher in readiness (1987) noticed it right away. When a person's brain works that way for so long, how can you possibly get it to swing in a positive direction? Back in 1986 I remember having bad thoughts about myself.. Here am today, still living and breathing and trying to do the best I can in life.
I feel that my job and other problems helps keep me in this mindset.
@tryingtosurvive2024
It is a very hard habit to break ... it takes small steps ... it is easier to find the negative... and it spreads like mold.... look around are the people you surround yourself with negative.... do you listen to others who only see negative.....
I practice finding something positive in every situation... it sometimes is challenging but i slowly can see how the negative made me angry and bitter and life is too short to stay bitter.
@toughTiger6481 I'm a 2nd shift janitor for a school. I don't have people around me. The only people around me are like teachers, and they are positive to each other.
@tryingtosurvive2024
People around us ......does not have to be physically around you...can be any form of negative talk or attitude. What type or do you listen to media or social media. It is hard to watch or read things that are not "the end of the world" about everything. Everything is made out to be impossible so why try ... etc.
If you have no people around it is even harder to not share things and see from different perspective. I had a job that was by myself most of time. With the same tasks over and over and it is easy to live in your head and become negative .........looking back during that job i think i was negative.
@toughTiger6481 I am stuck in a job just like that, and sadly there is no way out of that job. People look down at me. I have a learning disability and other issues that keep me in prison there. It would require outside help to get me out of the place I'm stuck in. Unfortunately that will not happen for me, because in order to get that help, I need help doing that. My main help is my parents, and at 76 years old they don't see the problem, and even if they do, they don't care.
@tryingtosurvive2024
I believe in you ... and a job like yours can be satisfying in you can have time to ponder the world, in the time alone.
The biggest moments of change in my life were not required a different place or job but an attitude and outlook....
I try to do a few things even tiny things new every week ..... try a new candy or food a new restaurant take a different route on my walk etc ...........when you are open to things/ people it may surprise you
Hi!
a Christian so I can absolutely relate to you. You’re not a bad Christian at all. Have an ever been diagnosed with any mental disorders? I would look into some sort of counseling or therapy if you haven’t just to explore a little bit. You can also reach out to me anytime ✨❤️
@supportiveHug4248 I have been diagnosed with several problems. OCD, Depression, Anxiety, and a Learning Disability.
@tryingtosurvive2024
I understand this as a Christian myself. Sometimes, I want to crawl into myself and talk down to myself. I always take a minute to remember why I am here. I am here to inspire and help others. When I help others and serve, that can help me feel a little less alone. You don't have to be positive all the time. You got this! God bless.
@kindsoul2533 thank you for your kind words. Have you heard of religious ocd? Someone here told me about it, and I've been listening to some podcasts about it. I am aware that I have OCD. But from what I am hearing, it sure sounds like that is where much of my pain is coming from. Obsessive and Christian thoughts twisted together.
I haven’t heard of it! I’ll have to look into it. Thanks for sharing!
@kindsoul2533 I don't know a good place to start with this, because I just started learning about it too. But here is one of the earliest videos I listened too.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MszSvHEVAQs
Or the Video.