One-word intrusive thoughts
Hi!
I'm wondering if someone has had a similar experience to me. I have this thought - it's just one word - that sometimes repeats over and over again in my head. At a certain point it got so frequent and loud that it was really distressing and I ended up in hospital. After changing some meds it got better but it's still around and flares up sometimes when my mental health in general is not doing great. No one has ever been able to tell me what exactly my experience would be classified as or if it's something they've heard other people say they have experienced. I suffer from anxiety, depression, and avoidant personality disorder, and have some obsessive-compulsive issues, so I don't have just one mental health issue that I could contribute it to.
Anyways, has anyone experienced something like this? It'd be nice to know if there are other people out there or if it's just my own brand of mental health problems.
Thanks for any responses!
Hey Patricia! Thank you for expressing what you've been going through. So, it sounds quite scary and overwhelming to have experienced that persistent or repeating thought/perception. I don't know if it's comparable, but when I had been meditating, something like this had happened when I just got a thought about a holy name. It gave me a panic attack, with heart palpitations, feelings of dizziness, unable to disengage from the thought/image or the name, it left me feeling paranoid, and it lasted for over a day. I felt quite distressed and worried about the "supernatural" despite being a rationalist.
Now, you've mentioned the various patterns you have, like anxiety, OC etc, and they could've contributed in some combination. We are all unique with different meanings and different experiences, so it's okay if we can't find a label for it, at the moment. Like you, I also have anxiety and an avoidant personality. Also, I have been diagnosed with bipolar disorder. The best explanation I can find for me is that my tiny-seeming fear got really magnified, due to getting carried away by my thought, and then reacting against the uncomfortable physical symptoms I was feeling. I wonder how you physically felt when this happened, and when you were taken to the hospital. I'm open if would you like to chat more about this. ^ ^
Thanks,
Thanks for your insight!
in terms of physical sensations, I’m not entirely sure. Some agitation I guess, if that counts? I don’t think I was super connected to my body at the time.
the thought that I was dealing with lasted for weeks, so I’m not sure it’s that similar to what you experienced, but it’s interesting to think about it as something I couldn’t disengage from as opposed to something that kept coming back up.
