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People closed in their ownselfs.

User Profile: exkaliber1
exkaliber1 April 8th, 2023

After many tries on this site to complete a session with a listener i couldn't find someone who can just stay online. I'm not mad i just wanted to say something that maybe some people will be related with. I feel like I'm a nice person, kind and someone who can listens to other people when they ask for a conversation. I don't have arrogance, i just wanted to say that i have pure heart but there's no someone to love it. Don't know why... I feel that people don't find me interesting person. I have a few good talents and a willingness to share love but I don't understand what people want to. Why people are so closed in their thoughts? Why are so mysterious? Why don't they share just simple thoughts? like... "What a nice weather to be outside!" Why is it so hard for them to open a conversation? Am I too hyperbolic?

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User Profile: Mdreaming101
Mdreaming101 April 17th, 2023

@exkaliber1

It's a complicated question.

Sometimes, people just don't click. I have seen new people hit it off right away. I have seen people who distance themselves.

I'm in the same boat as you. So maybe we try too hard and came off too rough. People often tell me I was too serious. An ex co-worker said I was too cautious; after I got used to her being around and was comfortable enough to joke around with you. A college classmate told me I gave her an impression of noble - whatever that means I have no clue. Have you ask people what they think of you? What kind of aura and impression you give off?

User Profile: Foreigner419
Foreigner419 April 17th, 2023

Hi I too find this topic of interest. Thank you Exkaliber1 for bringing the topic up for discussion in the forum. I will reiterate the title Closed People.

This happens for many reasons, and I can only name a few. It is hard to relate to all people and not all people will agree with you due to the basics of religion, bringing up, and or current beliefs due to environmental stimulus. Thus, is it acceptable to society norms? You yourself can be open, charismatic, loveable even, but if it doesn't have the approval or yours or their social norms, it may not be fitting. I would hope that we could all just get along. Accept each other's differences and be adults. We are humans and are not all raised the same way.

I don't know you from the next person, although we are here at 7cups for the same reason we want to be supported, heard, and find like minds and company of friends. Welcome exkaliber1 and thank you.

User Profile: Barltik2065
Barltik2065 April 17th, 2023
@Foreigner419 @exkaliber1 @Mdreaming101


"people just don't click"
And sometimes the timing is off.

"... with you due to the basics of religion, bringing up, and or current beliefs due to environmental stimulus."
This is commonly referred to as Culture, Worldview, and Lenses


You all have some great views. I agree mostly.
Speaking from an introvert's perspective. I come here for living through you all while being anonymously, with the hope to see who I am and/or learn more about me.
Many of us will cut off our noses dispite our faces. But why? Everyone will have a different reason(s) at different times, all are valid reasons.

it is interesting as to why Listeners (which is why they are there) who would stay online?
More than likely it is a numbers game meaning "If I role the dice enough, I will get snake eyes. Eventually"

"Why is it so hard for them to open a conversation?"
For me: Vulbnerable!
To open right from the start As @Mdreaming101 stated "after I got used to her being around and was comfortable enough to joke around with you."
It is not natural for some of us. Feelings\Emotions are the vital organs of our lives.
Revealing them is to take off the armor of protection. Would be like a dog rolling over exposing the underbelly.

So don't take it as though you are doing something wrong. You are just noticing things that most people don't becuase you care.
Be patient and this to your observation tools. When you see someone close off. It might be because you are getting close to something very important to them.
User Profile: FrozenGhost
FrozenGhost April 17th, 2023

Hi @exkaliber1

If you're talking about chats with a listener then in my experience, some listeners take that title very literally. They say very little and will state that they are here to listen, not talk. I respect that, of course and it's fine for people who just need to vent and don't expect much or any feedback. Having a conversation with a listener like that, however, can be very difficult as they either respond with one-word or don't respond at all. I've had many chats where there are long gaps and I keep having to type "are you still there?"

I think your best bet would be to search for a listener who takes casual chats if you're looking to have conversation. Just an idea. Take care!