We ain't angry at you love
Listening to Noah Kahan and realised not a lot of people would say they weren't angry if everything ended for me. Honestly they would make it about them. That they did their best and I'm ungrateful. "People have it so much worse. What could she have been possibly going through".
And then I thought, I'm so used to being the happy one that I'm tired. The happy friend, the loud sibling, the zealous person. It took a toll on me over the past month when I couldn't keep myself together. And recently, I've noticed people are mad because I'm not okay. I'm acting weird and it's making them feel uncomfortable. And that's making things worse
I haven't had time to hold my sadness in while
Could that be a thing for you? Where the expectation from everyone and everyone around you to be okay is making it harder? You don't have to heal at their pace. It's okay not to be okay ( cliché, I know). So be broken, if that's what you need.
@greenCup2889
I understand how you feel!
You are the one that listens!
That shoulders!
That helps!
You are always there!
Reliable.
Loving.
Supportive .
People are useless to seeing this so they cannot reverse the role when you are the one needing help!
They have taken your role for granted!
But you matter equally!
You deserve to speak out!
You need to be heard!
Supported and loved too!
💜💕
@greenCup2889
Hi Cup! 😊 ❤️
I guess I'll fumble around here, not exactly know what to say. Sometimes, it seems to me when one doesn't know what to say, how to say it, they should dig down deep and just say how it is that they feel. If one is compelled to speak, but not have all of the right words.....I guess something monumental kind of happened?
I don't know. I'm one of those "when the universe speaks, I listen" types and so that's what's happening now. Oddly enough, someone brought up a Noah Kahan song around here yesterday, I listened and I shed more than a few tears. ❤️ Ouch! Having said that.....
Everything that you said highly resonates with me. I have been doing a lot of reading about attachment styles, birth order, family dynamics, etc. It really is a bit intriguing to consider that many times, we as people come into the this world, as infants, being given a job to do. A role to fulfill with in a family setting.
They set the stage, give us requirements and mold us into what they want us to be at times. Sometimes they know all of the right buttons to push as they were the ones that sewed them onto us.
It truly is unfair for you to have to be the "happy one" all of the time. You aren't a puppet put on earth to fulfill the needs of others, to make them feel okay about their life based on your responses as a human being with a heart, a soul, a pulse and specific needs of your own. Sometimes others really don't understand that we aren't "props" for their life. We aren't objects and that we have needs of our own.
Sometimes others will become angry if we express emotions like sadness, fear, hurt or frustration. Anger of course would be truly out of line for some and that's really just not okay either.
It seems as if to me that others have their very own limitations. Being treated this way shows you most quickly what theirs are. They aren't holding "space for you" and it doesn't sound like they are your "soft spot to land". They are the ones that should be adulting and I guess they can't right now or never were able to due to their very own unmet needs.
Being pigeon holed into a constant performance to fulfill the needs of others truly would be exhausting. I give you the right to be exhausted my sweet friend! ❤️ It is okay, to not be okay whether it's your parents, siblings, friends wanting for you to always be "on" and being this selfish. It really is quite selfish.
You have a right to sacred time and sacred space. You are allowed to be sad, to be hurt, to be down and to be a human being and sometimes others really miss that point.
I'm glad that you are here on the platform. "Stronger together, never alone". ❤️ While none of us can change the behaviors of the ones in your life, at least we can be here for you. To listen, and not just to listen but to really hearrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr you because I sure did today!!!! ❤️
I apologise If I have I been less than eloquent. I'm confident there is a reason for that. Just my heart speaking to yours.
big big *hugs* ❤️ Sweet friend 😊 ❤️
Thank you so much for sharing. I’m so sorry you’ve been going through this. It’s a very real thing when you’re the one who is supportive and helpful and positive people literally do not know how to handle when the person who they view as having things all figured out, as being super steady, has a moment where they falter. And they don’t realize how much unfair and unnecessary pressure that puts on someone.
I loved what you said, especially the end where you say “be broken if that’s what you need to be” and I hope anyone who needs to hear/read that today does
Sending you good, healing vibes, may you process everything in your way, on your terms, and within your Timeline 💛