a bit confused
Hi guys, I am new here and I am trying my best to help others, my some of my conversations last more than an hour because I really want to make sure person will feel a bit better after it, however I have this one big concern. Sometimes when I accept the chat, the person in the chat starts telling me a story that does not really sound like a real one, they are mostly sexual stories that look more like a fantasy than reality, sometimes its very obvious that it is fake because they end up asking for social media information, but sometimes they dont and thats where i struggle because i dont want to assume that something is not real just because it sounds odd to me and not help a person who really experiences something they consider traumatic, however I do not want to waste time on people who come up with fake stories while others that are actually in need, are still in queues waiting for someone to help them. I know i can not learn everything in one day and it takes time but if you had the same experience and found a way to deal with it and have advices, i would be happy to hear them.
I can only agree with you. Unfortunately, I also have this problem. Would be nice if someone finds a nice solution. Thank you!
Hey hey @hokageee @maximizer, welcome to the listener community, it's wonderful to have y'all with us, and so nice to see your enthusiasm in learning more.❤
I'm glad you're being open to the possiblity of a chat being genuine, despite how "off" it may seem. Asn a general guideline in 7 cups too, we've been told and reminded often that we take all chats as genuine and treat them objectively I.e listening to the member like in any other chat, not questioning their truths or trying to form our own belief/ judgement and imposing it in the chat ~ practicing our active listening skills and focusing on providing the member a safe and comfortable non judgemental space to talk about whatever they need support with. We ofcourse wouldn't know if they telling truth or making stories, and would have to trust our member on their word ~ handling the chat just like we usually would do.
I feel a good approach here would be to center the chat to a supportive topic, if the chat flows in a direction away from support ~ we can try asking questions that help member to open up about their "why" of needing chat and how's it affecting/ impacting them.
However yes, it's a good thing to be mindful of our own boundaries too, and in case a chat feels too much and it is getting rather difficult to stay objective then perhaps we can take help from a chat supporter (trained listeners who are available to help us navigate difficult conversations, mostly they are available in the listener support room) or ofcourse can refer the chat to another listener, if it becomes uncomfortable or simply not tolerable (for the lack of a better word) for us, our comfort matters as well.
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If anyone's asking for offsite, please let them know it's not allowed at all. You may share the guidelines with them also- https://www.7cups.com/community-guidelines/.
If they persist despite your refraining, you can follow the procedure mentioned below below-
For chats becoming inappropriate/ member becoming rude/ pestering for off site or asking too many personal details/ behaving in a way not appropriate for the site-
we can remind them of the guidelines of the site and the way we're expected to behave. We can verbally remind/warn them a couple of times by asking them to correct their behavior and try to redirect the chat to a supportive topic ~ if they persist despite several reminders, we can end the chat with them, letting them know what is making us do so.
If they still happen to continue engaging in similar behavior, after ending chat too, then the last resort is needed and we can use the report/block button and make a report about their behavior with proper details in the pop up box that shows up.
It also helps to take screenshots of such instances and mail them to community@7cups.com with relevant details, so the admin team can intervene and take necessary action.
If you feel the need to have a quick assistance in any chats, you're welcome to join the Listener Support Room, it is always open and supportive folks are readily available to meet and support each other, feel welcome to join us anytime.
Sharing this is a Welcome pack with y'all, it is full of helpful links and resources and useful information, to help you start your journey as a listener.
And ofcourse, You never have to be alone or tackle any challenges alone, we all thrive here with alot of support and encouragement from our peers, you can also consider connecting with a Listener coach or a Mentor, these are trained listeners who happily help and assist other listeners out regarding the site in general, or chat related situations and questions.
Best wishes always. ❤
Feel free to reach out, if there's anything else you need some assistance with, pertaining to your listener role.
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