advice wanted
TRIGGER WARNING - talk of potential SA. So the other night i got really drunk and found went over to a hinge matches house - silly idea i know - long story short he was a bit of a catfish but i felt rude getting up and leaving so i stayed and drank a lot of the vodka he offered me. i smoked some weed which i never do and safe to say i was in a bad state. two and a half bottles of wine and about a quarter bottle of vodka down. i cant remember anything from sitting on his couch to waking up with no pants on the next day (was still wearing underwear). i messaged the next day asking him if anything happened and he told me ‘you tried to give me oral and have sex with me’ and that was enough for me to get anxiety and block him. the past couple days my *** has been hurting (like the kind when you have non- lubricated sex) so i tried to find his socials to make sure nothing happened come to find he’s blocked me on everything, including hinge. i’m not sure what to do because i’m worried something might’ve happened, either while i was conscious or unconscious. even if i were conscious i was in no state to be giving consent but he’s blocked me so i don’t even know if anything did happen.. any advice?
@carefulOcean6982
First of all i am sorry this has happened to you.
From what you have shared my guess is yes, you were assaulted as you were in no shape to give consent. While being drunk or high etc is no excuse for what happened I am concerned about your self respect.
You stated right off "not a good idea"... please put yourself first and when a bad idea comes in your mind tell yourself "NO i will not put myself in that situation". ..
IF the person was not whom they appeared to be on an app or was a catfish ... it is Not rude to leave as soon as you found out. This person lied about himself and you give them the a pass on it..... when people treat you poorly and you accept it they think they can go farther.
This has most likely happened and unless you had an exam or reported it nothing will happen... you messaging him... and he now knows you Cannot remember .......but are sure something happened. Blocking you may be this persons way of avoiding any further discussion about it.
Now unfortunately you cannot change it........ but can PLEASE learn you are worth so much more and for whatever reason when you are drinking or any mind altering state this only leads down a dark path..i am a strong believer in never going into meeting someone without a buddy if you had already drank and not making good decisions.
If you have not already maybe see a doctor and be tested for STD as i doubt safe sex was involved.
First I'm really sorry to hear this happened and that you are going through this. Trust your instincts that something is off and get medical help. I don't know where you are but most places have access to something called PEP, post exposure prophylaxis. It's medication that can reduce your risk of contracting hiv. You have to start it within 72hrs. Most places you don't need to report to get medical help. Prioritize your health and figure out the rest after. This isn't advice, this is what worked for me. I got PEP, the morning after pill and something called doxy pep. Again not advice, your mileage may vary but I hope you have access to help and support right now. ( I checked posting guidelines and I think this should be ok but if it isn't someone let me know.)
Go to the police
You can dm for privacy for more info take your time
