How do you feel about your name?
Hey all,
So I realize this may seem like a weird question, but seeing as a large part of our identities are tied to our names, I thought I would ask. :)
For myself, I'm...used to my name certainly and identify with it on the basis that I've had it all my life. However, I also have somewhat of a negative association with my name as I never really liked it as a kid. This may or may not have something to do with hearing it yelled consistently while I was growing up. 😅
So yeah, how do you all feel about your given names?
I’m not particularly fond of it, because there’s always 6271204724380519401285 other people who have it too
And yet, despite how common and simple it is, nobody can ever spell it right because there’s 2 ways of spelling it and they always seem to go for the other one…
@scrongleton
Ha! Funnily enough, there was a name that popped into my head when I first read your post.
And yeah, I could see how having a more common name would lead to those kind of feelings. Mine's not as common, but people almost always spell it wrong (at least where mine is concerned).
I used to dislike my name growing up, because it was unique. But now that I'm older, I've really come to love it! It has a very nice meaning, and I don't often meet people with the same name. My name is part of my identity, and I love it with all my heart. It was my parents' first gift to me.
@H0pefulWanderer
I really liked your last line of your name being your parents' first gift to you. That is such an awesome way to think/feel about your name!!:)
@H0pefulWanderer
I also like the idea of it being your parents first gift to you! That's super sweet.
My father gave me this name, but sadly I will never know his reason since he passed away in 2017. I cannot say it's a bad name, but people keep confusing it and calling me with different variations: one of them makes me shivers since it was used by a man who emotionally abused of me for a whole year, so I created a pseudonym in order to be a new me.
@FutureTeacher301
My father gave me this name, but sadly I will never know his reason since he passed away in 2017. I cannot say it's a bad name, but people keep confusing it and calling me with different variations: one of them makes me shivers since it was used by a man who emotionally abused of me for a whole year, so I created a pseudonym in order to be a new me.
First all, you have my honest sincere condolences both for your loss and for going through that emotional abuse. Unfortunately, I can relate to both that type of grieving process as well as having a name that is associated with emotional abuse. In fact, I have given serious thought to legally changing my name. For now, like yourself, I also created a pseudonym for the same reasons.
@sereneSunset26
I like my name. It's unique. some people have the same nickname as me but no one else that I know has 9 letters in only their first name lol.😂
@versatileSailboat1937
I like my name. It's unique. some people have the same nickname as me but no one else that I know has 9 letters in only their first name
Nine letters? That is honestly impressive to me. I feel like it would be a potential work out just writing out my name every time if mine was that long. 😉
Seriously though, I feel there is definitely something to be said for unique names and the identities that they help create. :)
@versatileSailboat1937
My deadname is pretty common; and also has 9 letters.
@sereneSunset26
personaly, i love my given name, but for any social medias i have another name bcs i feel like my real name over good for me who like this. did you know this feeling? haha. yeah, just it.
@looklu
Yeah, I think I know that feeling. I don't really use mainstream social media, but for the messaging apps I am on (closest thing to social media for me) I do not use my full name at all.
I don't really like my deadname, it makes me feel like I am not who I want to be. The name I prefer to be called is Charlie. I like it since it's neither too feminine, or too masculine! <3
@SanrioHelloKitty
I don't really like my deadname, it makes me feel like I am not who I want to be. The name I prefer to be called is Charlie. I like it since it's neither too feminine, or too masculine!
So it's my understanding that deadnaming is usually used more so under the umbrella for those who are transgender or nonbinary.
However, I do feel like I can relate in my own way because, like I said in a post above, through trauma I have come to have something of a disconnect with my birthname. I'll still answer to it (at least until if/when I legally change it), but I don't really *feel* anything towards it.
@sereneSunset26
Yes you're correct, and yeah I still answer to mine as well but I don't feel any connection with it whatsoever.
@sereneSunset26 yeah I agree our identities are all to some extent related/influenced by our names. I have two names, one in my native language one English name. So what's funny is that my mom named me after a Spanish name, and she thought is it English. Growing up, people never pronounce it the way my mother taught me (as some use English pronunciation and some Spanish). It turned out that her way of pronouncing it is actually a self-invented one 😂. I ended up always having the most unique name in my classes and always having to correct people's pronunciations.
WHAT's MORE...I recently started learning Spanish and found that my name actually means "little 'my mom's name' " in Spanish. I don't even know what to say. I feel like my name is a developing story.
ohh I just realized how long it took me to explain this
@exquisiteSunrise6877
yeah I agree our identities are all to some extent related/influenced by our names. I have two names, one in my native language one English name. So what's funny is that my mom named me after a Spanish name, and she thought is it English. Growing up, people never pronounce it the way my mother taught me (as some use English pronunciation and some Spanish). It turned out that her way of pronouncing it is actually a self-invented one 😂. I ended up always having the most unique name in my classes and always having to correct people's pronunciations.
WHAT's MORE...I recently started learning Spanish and found that my name actually means "little 'my mom's name' " in Spanish. I don't even know what to say. I feel like my name is a developing story.
That's really awesome that you have two names like that! If you don't mind me asking, what is your native language? And with all of this information, I can see why you would feel that your name is truly a developing story. Seriously awesome. :)
@sereneSunset26 interesting question! i actually wrote a story based on disconnecting from a name =p
i'm trans, so of course my birthname is something i'm uncomfortable with. i feel completely disconnected from that name, and who that person was. but also the experiences they went through. i separate myself from my trauma and past through rejecting that name.
when i came out as trans, i let my parents rename me, to make it more "authentic" i guess? i wanted to know what it would be like to have my parents name me as if i was born a guy. it's something i'm okay with. it's my name. but it doesn't really feel "me". i'll answer to it, but i don't feel like it truly is my name.
there's another name i go by, online, that really feels me. it makes me happy to be called it, and i feel right whenever i'm called it. i picked that name, and it's the name of a person who really saved me when i needed it, so i guess that's why i'm so connected to it.
@sereneSunset26
I always hated my name. Ughhh. Tried to be called by different versions of it but it never stuck. It’s old fashioned, and it reminds me of the wicked witch of the west! lol 😂 But as I got older and realized I was named after my mothers best friend and my godmother, I learned to accept it. (But I still don’t like it). It is what it is… I will give you a hint, it means Pearl.
@forcefulFriend4768
I always hated my name. Ughhh. Tried to be called by different versions of it but it never stuck. It’s old fashioned, and it reminds me of the wicked witch of the west! lol 😂 But as I got older and realized I was named after my mothers best friend and my godmother, I learned to accept it. (But I still don’t like it). It is what it is… I will give you a hint, it means Pearl.
I do believe I know what your name is :)
I knew a girl who was/is named Lydia, and she also felt her name was old-fashioned, but like yourself, grew to accept it.
As for mine, it's an "it is what it is" situation. Still debating and won't be surprised if I change it someday.
I'm a non-binary trans masc; my parents gave me a basic, gross, femme name. I hate my given name with a burning passion. I still have to hear it daily, and it hurts so bad. My preferred name, however, is Jamie. I love that name. I came up with it, myself, after all.
@LavenderBee3612
With your life-story, what you said definitely makes sense.
In a way, does the name Jamie appeal to you because it's a name that is pretty much gender-neutral?