The burden is on us-Thoughts on Support Chat

First let me say, that I think that having an ongoing Support Chat is an important and vital thing for this community.

I want to share some concerns about what I have observed as a participating member and I think it's important to always take a hard look at the services that 7cups provides. I believe that the community should be in a position to help shape the the culture and policies here. Without us, 7cups would not exist.

In Support Chat, Moderators will come in and inform the room that they cannot make small talk and if so, they have to leave the room and go somewhere else. It sounds reasonable, right? Well I think its a myopic policy. Small talk and humor should be allowed to vary degrees as a way to cool down from the incredible amount of emotional labor that is put in. There are members there who put their whole heard into helping people who come in with some type of crisis or need validation or are just struggling with intrusive thoughts. Support Chat is a fast-moving room that often is overcrowded and it's not uncommon to have multiple person coming in with all kinds of emotional turmoil.

It is the dedicated members of Support Chat who are on the front lines, trying to talk people out of despair or outof thoughts of self-harm or worse. The Moderators are not doing the bulk of this work, nor are the Listeners who just hanging out and won't use their member accounts, because then they can't message their friends. Why should 7cups take the credit for this Support Chat if it's the members who are putting in the labor? We are not professionals and many of us arent trained to deal with the type of people in crisis who often presents themselves in the room.

Support Chat, should really be renamed to Support Factory because of how incredibly fast moving it can get and it's just total information overload. Often times, people in need will feel ignored and its really that people cannot keep up with the pace of the room. Support Groups in real life are purposely kept to a small number of people for that reason. It's better to give someone more attention, than giivng a ton of people a drop of empathy. People often leave the room, feeling unsatisified. Needs are not being met.

Theres' two types of member behaviors that I find problematic. One is the help-rejecting complainer who comes to the room with a problem or problems but basically dismisses any attempts at help and simply continues to complain. This can be very draining for many of us who seek to find relief for the person. The other behavior which I find really nerve-wracking, is to person who makes vague statements about harming themselves and won't admit that they are in direct crisis. This usually ends up making some supporters feeling very anxious for the person and feeling kinda powerless to help them.

Another thing, I noticed that venting is seen as positive thing here on 7cups. I often hear people coming because they need to vent. I wish this idea would change, because venting is really not helpful. Venting is a form of ruminating that can make a person feel worse and often drains the people listening to it. Sitting there and complaining about your situation may give you immediate relief, but in the long wrong, It's doesn't improve your situation and the emotions will come back anyway. This is just one example, of the pop-psychology stuff that floats around 7cups and really can do people a disservice.

So as members, the burden is on us to support others. And this will continue until 7cups installs permanent room supporters to each room, that way they can support members with all the emotional labor expected of them.

@GlenM
@Laura
@ASilentObserver