Discussion Question: Do you consider yourself worthy of love and admiration?

Hell yes. Everyone is.

Part of me thinks I am, and another part doesn't think so at all. People who have loved me, I've only hurt and pushed away. So I don't think I deserve it because of my past.

Not anymore

I don't know how to feel, in this regard, A part of me wants to say yes obviously, but deep down I feel like Im not owed anything from anyone, so why would love be any different.

I don't know how to feel, in this regard, A part of me wants to say yes obviously, but deep down I feel like Im not owed anything from anyone, so why would love be any different.

Logically I know I am. But emotionally I still get really uncomfortable and flustered when people (even people I'm incredibly close with) do nice thigs or go out of their way for me. I had a lot of toxic friendships for a really long time where I felt the need to prove myself, and so asking for help never felt like an opption. These same people also expected me to be an emotional cornerstone for them, someone who would do anything to prove to them that I cared about them. Even after leaving those friendships, it's taken years to admit how bad I was treated and how it affected me. I still struggle with it, but one thing I do is I try really hard to remind myself that I should allow and be okay allowing people to do things for me that I would be willing to do for them. Also that my needs are just as important as theirs and that I can't always drop everything for everyone. Taking the time to think this and repeat this to myself is slowing helping me.

I know in the back of my mind that I am worth it, and that I have a lot to offer. My issue though is that I don't love myself, therefore I believe that other people don't and can't love me either. If someone says that they care about me in any way, I never believe them, and forever feel like an inconvenience. Once you learn to love yourself though, you begin to find and attract more positive people.

I do feel deserving, but I don't want to get involved with anyone anytime soon. I think I have too many priorities and need to get more mature before starting a relationship.

I probably do not? Cuz I have had relationships but they never last? I always mess up stuff for some reason and I'm tired of even trying anymore.

My thing is, I know that I should consider myself worthy of love/compassion, but it's hard. I know more of my flaws than anyone else (at least if the people around me are telling me correctly) and I'm afraid of letting them slip to hurt someone else. I've done it before.

Here's a current example toward compassion. I was recently asked out on a date, completely out of the blue from my perspective. It took a while, but I accepted because this person is geniunely sweet, I'm interested, but as the days go by toward this date I'm getting more paranoid. Two days ago, they had to help fix one of my bigger messes and directly overhear another person say (a little rudely, but truthfully) that I needed to stop talking so much. So they obviously have definite advantage over me in two ways; they don't talk as much and can handle stressful situations better. They've seen so much more obvious of my struggles and inability to control myself than I have of them. So what makes me think that they even want to go on this first date anymore? If I were them, I would want to take it all back immediately.

In the case of love, I always think about my mom. Not everyone has great moms or even any at all, but mine is the absolute picture of perfection in my eyes. She's always, always making sacrifices and almost never gets a break, but she manages to stay happy, active, and kind to everyone. Meanwhile, I'm an anxious mess who had panic and/or anxiety attacks in every one of my classrooms last year at least once, I cost so much that I can't provide for myself, I'm inconsiderate toward other people's feelings, and I've ruined more people than I can imagine. I ruined my mom's life. She was forced to stay with my dad for almost 15 years, a man who I resemble so much and had to live with for half of my life. He's hurt her so much, and I hurt her too.

I don't know, I just want to have a warning label on me anywhere I go so people know not to go near me. I'm too much work.