Discussion Question: Do you consider yourself worthy of love and admiration?
To answer truthfully? No. I don't think I deserve any love or admiration. I've turned into such a hateful soul... I'm so alone yet I push people away... I dunno WHY I do it I just realise that I do... Perhaps it's a way for my mind to cope as it doesn't want to be hurt anymore but at the same time it's screaming 24/7 how much I'd love to have a friend again... I miss days when myself and a friend would sit and just be stupid... Talking about sports, girls, plans for the weekend... I miss being able to go out and have a few drinks and dance... I miss having the energy to get up and push myself into doing things... But most of all I miss being loved... Or I suppose... Feeling LIKE I'm loved... But I don't deserve it... Nope, not at all... I'm horrible...
@KleeshadeLoneliness Nice to see I am not alone with these feelings Stay strong friend!
Simply put; no
I tend to seperate myself depending weither I am "normal" or supersad. I call the other half of me "The Monster". The real me tries so hard to understand that my value is equal to everyone else. The monster wish my existence never happened and think I am the worst scum of the world.
I know I should but I don't. I'm too rude and apathetic. People like me because I'm a jerk but no one loves me.
I find it difficult to accept that anyone could love me with anxiety. When I cause so many problems and hurt people around me because it's hard to control sometimes... I feel like I push people away to preven getting hurt or hearing something I don't like because in the past people have made me feel bad about suffering with this illness that it scares me. But I love expressing my feelings and I love being loved but sometimes it's hard to feel loved when your brain is constantly telling you what a unlovable person you are all the time...
To be honest, it's so hard to consider myself worthy of love! Sometimes I feel guilty and blame myself for everything.. I think that everything I do is wrong.. those moments I don't believe that I deserve to be loved.. I don't even love myself!
On the other hand, when I feel happy and relaxed I want to help other people smile! I love helping others get over their fears or problems! Those moments, I consider myself worthy of love!
:)
No, not really.
No. I'm toooooo unlikable
I must not be. If you knew the story of my birth, to my foster care, to running away, to my abusive marriage... to now... the curse. While I was pregnant with my youngest son my doctor needed information. She got a court order and pulled my juvenile court records. She shared the curse with me. I would be sick... for the remainder of my life, and had probably passed this to both of my children... due to a decision two shameful people made. I was AN ABOMINATION. Even the church excommunicated me when I simply went for counseling; to help me understand. So no, throughout history children, people like me, have never deserved forgiveness, love, friendship, and in most cases, even kindness. The truth is though, just because its true, and I am now in the fourth cancer to prove it...it doesn't matter. It doesn't make it easiernfor my soul to carry the consequences. My soul hurts. My soul really is tired. Not my heart. My soul. My soul just doesn't want to suffer anymore and is almost to the point of refusing to. My soul just doesn't want to be shredded anymore... Please.