I get treated like a baby

I have to remind people over and over to do things that they should be handling on their own

I do stupid things.

2 things: My ex harassing me for money I don't owe him (that's the only reason he contacts me, it's like I never mattered to him) and getting scolded for standing up for myself.

1. Basically, my stole money from me and has the nerve to ask for money back. So today I let him have it. As soon as he came to my job I told him repetitvely and loudly to get the F out and never come back (I was the only one in the building at that time). I threatened to call the cops. He left and went to the barbershop next door and they told him to leave too. As his friend drove off with him, he was yelling and mocking me from the car screaming "GET OUT". I yelled back "F YOU A-HOLE" and gave him the finger. That was the first time I've ever done something like that.

Mind you, rarely EVER curse people out like this. I usually do my best to maintain my temper, but I felt like my ex deserved it this time after everything he put me through since last winter. He has a history of narcissistic, mental, and physical abuse that was done to me and many others. He also steals, lies a lot, and he has a drug addiction. He has said some really awful things to me (insulting my heritage and telling me awful things he's done to women he's dated who have the same heritage as me) and he has accused me of awful things that I would never do. So I hope whoever is reading this understands where I am coming from. I felt like I had every right to yell at him.

2. What also really upset me was when I went to tell the barber next door what just happened, she scolded me for yelling at him and said I should have nicely told him to leave and ignore him. I walked away after she said that because I was so angry. I felt like she wasn't even listening to me and it seemed like she somehow forgot all of the nasty things he has done to me. I felt like yelling at him was necessary in order to get my point across, because I am done with him walking all over me. I had to show him that he doesn't get to say and do whatever he wants to me. However, the barber next door is extremely Christian and thinks her way is always the right way. I don't want to speak to her for a few days. I'll get over it.

I do something stupid or wrong when I should know better

When I can't complete the simplest tasks or chores because I'm in so much pain.

And...

That I don't accept invites to places and events because my pain takes over.

When I'm humiliated

Hypocrites act like they're innocent and the only victim

When an attempt goes wrong n I wake up 😎

I feel most angry as my family condemns me....

I feel most angry when they slander my wife and unborn child because they are black....

I feel most angry when these same people take advantage of me and return my kindness with atrocities...

I feel most angry when people hurt others just to make themselves feel whole...

I feel most angry when this universe seemingly gives undeserving people both bad & good life experiences

I feel most angry when... Well that's just the thing I "feel"