When my guys tell me my best friend is so pretty and they try to talk to her after giving up so fast in me.
I am always there for someone, but when I need their help, they always seem to disappear.
When my doctor told the fire department that I had a pysc issue and not GI, neurological and cardiology issues.
I can't control myself
I start thinking about how I wasted the first 4 yrs of of my 20s with an abusive manipulative bf and I could've been having fun with healthy ppl maintaining healthy relationships with ppl that actually matter and don't manipulate me into doing things I didn't want to do, felt comfortable with, or take away my happiness and what made me truly happy and healthy
I love you stay alive just one more day and on
Im always there for my friends but when I need them they always seem to not care and dont want anything to do with my problems then they start talking about themselves again
I have people higher than me in the company who things using any tone of voice to guide you on what you need to do next as part of your job, or demand things to happen the second they ask for it to be done.
I feel most angry when I try to explain to people that I want help with my depression and problems and they see it as a joke but then wonder why am I sad.
My feelings and behaviours really piss me off; when I see myself acting weird and annoying people but I can't stop, or when I'm trying to talk to a doctor about what I'm going through but the words don't come off as sincere, or when no one takes me and my pain seriously. The biggest struggle is when I can't even take myself seriously and I'm just stuck in a loop of:
Everything is hard > Let's tell someone> They think I'm faking > I'm probably faking > I'm pathetic > Retreat further into myself,
Repeat. And seeing it, as well as living in it, fucking sucks.