One thing I have never told anyone is....[finish this sentence}
Just... blurt it out! Don't be nervous! Make your secrets not so secret....
That I have had an abortion
how I feel about my abusers is both love and hate
@gregariousJar3961
Me, too. Except I don't love and hate my abuser. I love him, and maybe I (hate?) what he did to me.
I've been in therapy for nearly five years now trying to process what he did and heal from his abuse. To be honest, it's hard for me to even consider using words like hate when I think of him because of how much I love him... because he was my father.
I'm not sure if these mixed feelings are just as hard for you, but if they are, I'm sending a lot of good thoughts and peace to you. It can be an incredibly scary experience trying to sort through this ambivalence and confusion, but I think it's worth it when we can finally say "it wasn't our fault" and mean it. I hope you know that.
@unsinkablespirit312 do you really not hate him?
@gregariousJar3961
I really don't hate him, but it's not because I don't want to. I just don't know how to. I haven't gotten there yet. :/
That I'very been tempted to leave my husband & 3 kids, but in a more permanent way.
@tealThinker7834
Please don't. Your husband and 3 kids would never be the same. Their lives wouldn't just be diminished, their entire worlds would tilt downward into grey. You might not see it or believe that you are important to them, but you are sunshine in their lives. Your absence would leave a void that nothing and no one would ever be able to fill again. People would miss you. People would miss your trademark smile, your infectious laugh, your kind eyes, your giving nature, your big heart - the parts of you that you think might go unnoticed are always noticed by someone. And if you were gone, someone would miss them. Someone would want them back.
I rememeber reading this quote somewhere when I was in a very bad place... it made me think of things in a difference perspective. Maybe it'll help you, too: "When one person dies, it leaves a lot of people dead."
Please keep fighting. It might seem selfish, but I want you to live. You deserve to live and you deserve to give yourself the opportunity to experience all the amazing things that are still out there. <3
@unsinkablespirit312
"killing yourself doesn't stop the pain, it passes it on to someone else"
that's one of the reasons I'm still here. Hopefully it'll help you too
@Sillygyrl
Thank you for the quote. That's one of the reasons why I'm still here, too. I don't want to cause anyone that cares about me any sort of pain. I feel like I've already caused them enough of that.
@unsinkablespirit312
I've wanted to, but I can't cross that line. I've had my best friend AND a friend that was like a brother do that to me. Tore me apart. I love both of them & HATE them. the days just seem to drag on though. No rest, kids are kids & I never wanted them & they are children who listen sometimes. I know this. The husband tries to help & even though I love him dearly, I want to walk out. I walked out of my house today & sat on the cement outside in 112 degree weather & cut because I know I don't have the guts to follow John. But if he walked up to me & said let's go, I'd follow him.
I've tried getting my grandfather to let me die & he forced me to breathe. I can't seem to do it...
I think I have social anxiety
@emotionalkitten8600 I want to say something. But don't know what to say.
One thing i have never told anyone is that my uncle used to sexually abuse me when i was 6years old, i hated my mother for leaving me alone in his care
I have severe anxiety and depression, which is why I rarely go out.
My true nature of bounciness and laughter is sometimes eclipsed by who my bipolar disorder makes me become.
I'm honestly addicted to Marijuana.
@AnalyticalMind01 me too buddy. Except now I have a small baby, and so I'm unable to smoke anymore but I crave everyday.
I have been sexually assaulted by 2 different members of my family. And I want to die everyday.
I had a lot of boyfriend..they were disloyal.. and this is a secret for me from my surround...especially my husband..he is unaware that..Im so sad and nervous concerning it.. but I never will talk about him.. may be he leaves me :( Im very confused about last 3 years.. only three years took my whole life :( :( Im nor brave..I have not self-esteem...sometimes I want to go awat by leaving everything in my life..but I do not..for him..I love him a lot. I do not want to hurt him anymore...
